My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Special Sunday

Isn’t he a real cutie? Look at that sweet smile. Colin James, our godchild, was dedicated at church yesterday! And, Mark got to do it since he is now an elder. Mark explained what an infant dedication is and is not and what being godparents means. He did a really nice job explaining that as some people don’t quite “get” what a dedication is. It was a real privilege to be a part of the dedication and a real honor to be his godparents. What a pleasure it will be to watch him grow and hold his parents’ accountable to raising him in a godly home. We take the job very seriously! And, the icing on the cake was that I sang in church! Yup, haven’t done that in SO long since I’ve had so many issues with my voice. But, I did it!

I have to say that I’m seriously rethinking my hair seeing this picture for the first time as I uploaded it for the blog…I have a serious stripe going on there. Oh well, Colin doesn’t mind.

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Family Fun Day









Took the clan out to Reading Public Museum today (love that reciprocal membership with the Franklin!) and enjoyed seeing art, armor, jewels, a shrunken human head (for real? How DO they do that?), and a real mummy! It was good to go out as a family and enjoy the lovely stream and garden area outside the museum. Apparently, it’s a hot spot for wedding photos. Two bridal parties were there when we were there. And, yes, the one is wearing a neon green bridal gown and looks like she’s too young to go to prom much less get married. Interesting scene.

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two years

Two years. On July 23, 2007, someone working at the Chinese office handling adoptions in Beijing took our huge folder of paperwork and logged it into their system. Just a few weeks ago, on July 6, 2009, we received word that our paperwork had been reviewed. Two years. It is not always easy to be positive about this process when things take so very long to progress. But, we started this process when our youngest was very young, anticipating a long wait. And, now, 2 years have passed. In those 2 years, a lot has happened in our family. And, as we near the end of our paper pregnancy and get closer to actually meeting our child, I would be remiss if I did not consider the benefits of our waiting. So, encouraged by a blog entry I saw elsewhere, more for my own benefit than anything else, I want to list out some of the blessings of our wait thus far.

CARING FOR OUR FAMILY’S NEEDS. A lot has happened in our family in these 2 years; many situations required my full attention and commitment. I am thankful that we were able to deal with educational and health issues during this time. If they had come up before we had started this process, we may not have. God’s timing was perfect.


RELATIONSHIPS. During the long wait, I have been blessed by connecting with other waiting adoptive families. We have done quilt exchanges and gift exchanges as well as simply encouraged each other as we all wait together. The relationships I have built there, which I trust will be longlasting, have been a real blessing to me.

SPECIAL NEEDS ADOPTIONS. The long wait has led many families in the healthy child program to consider a special needs adoption. We are one of those families. We joined the special needs program in March 2009. Healthy older children as well as younger children with special needs have been placed with their forever families who may not have moved to the special needs program had the wait been a short one.

PREPARATION. In the past 2 years, I have read too many books to count on adoption and Chinese culture. My understanding of how to best parent an adopted child as well as my understanding of recent Chinese history that has impacted my child’s birth family is so much deeper than when we started this process. I trust that it will be even deeper months from now as each day I am more prepared to bring our daughter home.

PRACTICE ADVOCATING. In these past 2 years, I’ve gotten a lot of practice dealing with medical professionals, the county, teachers, our adoption agency staff, and so forth. I feel like I am ready to advocate for our new daughter and whatever needs she may have when she arrives. The practice had increased my confidence that I can do what she will need me to do for her.

COMPASSION. The special needs adoption process is not unlike trying to conceive. I remember the emotional roller coaster during infertility treatment years ago. Now, I find myself experiencing some of the same emotions. Waiting parents mark on my calendar the day new children should be posted to the special needs list. We get antsy as that day approaches. When the day comes and we do not get a call, disappointment sets in, and we know that we have to wait a whole month before we will have the opportunity again to possibly get a call. Going through both infertility and now the waiting process for the adoption, I feel such a compassion for women in particular who want so badly to be a mother. It is such a strong desire of our hearts. I also feel a strong compassion for those women who surrender their children. Knowing the love for my children, I can only imagine that their heartache is absolutely intense.

LONG OBEDIENCE IN THE SAME DIRECTION. I can clearly remember my husband coming home from work and telling me as he walked in the door, “We need to adopt. I feel like we’d be disobedient if we didn’t.” I had been praying for months that he would feel this way. So, we moved forward. We completed our paperwork in record time and sent it to China. A year later, we renewed our paperwork. And, a year later, we renewed again. We just keep going, fully confident that God called us to do it originally and that He will see this to completion (Galatians 6:9).

CONTROL. I want control. I want to know which child will be ours, what her needs will be, when we will get the referral, when we will travel, and so forth. There is nothing more out of my control than this adoption process. I can search and search for clues and try to predict this and that. But, ultimately, no one has the answers for me but the Lord. As I learn this lesson more profoundly, I see the fruits in other areas of my life as well.


Thank you, God, for how you have used these past 2 years in our lives. Thank you for how you have carried our family through some stressful situations. Thank you for the adoption community and the many relationships we have built both with families from other agencies, families with our agency, and with our agency staff. Be with us and other waiting families who are pursuing a special needs adoption. Prepare us to meet our child’s needs in a specific way. Help us to walk in your will, trusting that this is what you called us to do 2 years ago and you will see it to completion. Help us to trust in you and your plan, knowing that you are sovereign over all things. And, Lord, continue to open our eyes to see the blessings of the wait until we meet our new daughter.

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