I’ve been wondering ever since I committed to The Sparrow Fund’s team why I’ve been called to go to China on this trip and serve at this orphanage halfway around the world. The call, the timing were clearly orchestrated by God in the craziness that only His hands can perform. Yet, my role on this trip has been foggy. I feel like I am in a waiting period. Like dusk, that time right before the sun is about to rise. It is still nighttime, the stars are slightly visible and most of nature and people are still asleep, but the moon is beginning to set and shades of purple fill the sky. Birds are starting to sing and slowly you can make out the shape of the landscape surrounding-all indicators of change happening. That is where I feel like I am. Dawn is on the rise and I will soon be able to see what God is doing in my life, but for now I am still waiting on Him, listening to the birds and seeing the beauty of dusk.

So what am I hearing, what am I seeing in China?

The beauty in holding a little boy, 13 months old, who is not yet walking nor crawling nor even standing up as he should be doing and, therefore, often sits all day, watching a DVD on loop play, playing with a handful of the same toys on a mat only 12×15 feet in size, rarely leaving that space. And, yet, he laughs. He smiles big melt-your-heart smiles. He has dimples and only two little bottom teeth. He loves to be tickled. He has a silent chuckle of pure joy. He loves to be held. He baby talks. I find myself holding him many of the days and I consider where would he be if he was in a normal home setting with furniture to pull up on, space to be mobile, family to play with? Would he be walking? Eating cheerios out of snack cups and playing with matchbox cars? I find myself whispering to him to fight. To grow strong, to work hard and crawl. I want his chances for adoption to be better. I want him to know what it is like to have a Dad and Mom, siblings, pets. But I know that is not fair to ask him that, and he can’t really understand me and what an expectation to ask of a child? And then I realize in the unfairness of it all, I’d take him as he is. Isn’t that what God does for us? He takes us in our weakness because He sees our inner beauty. He fights for us to be in His family.

That little boy is just one song. One shade in this dusk sky that surrounds me.

There are many more. I had 19 kids in my room at the orphanage alone and each is another story—a different shade, a beautiful shade in the sky.

It is my prayer that as the sun begins to rise in my life, it would on many other lives as well, and they would be moved by the Spirit to search for their role in this story and take steps in faith to mesh their story with the stories of these children.

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Kelly Dixon

Kelly has been married 13 years and has two children, Charlotte age 7 and Jasper who just turned 2. Passionate about serving and discipling teenage youth, she works part time as a middle and high school science teacher to home-schooled students in the greater Philadelphia region. In addition, she is involved in mentoring youth at her church as a youth group leader. Through a close friend, God brought her to join The Sparrow Fund team to Shaanxi, China where the world of serving and caring for the orphan became part of hers.

Piaoliang.

Mandarin for beautiful. It is the first word I learned and have actually remembered among all the others.

When I decided to come to China to serve in the orphanage, I expected darkness, fear, sadness, hurt…suffering. From the moment we arrived at the orphanage on that first day, these preconceived expectations were shattered. My very first thought as we pulled into the gate was, “how beautiful.” Each hall so bright and cheerful, every detail and decoration exploding with color and life. Beauty. And, the children. Each one unique, sweet faced, deep and hopeful. Their smiles, full of promise and truth. They are beautiful. The nannies…their devotion, attention, and playful love for each child…again, beautiful.

The theme for the photo workshop on the first day was beauty. The children were instructed to take pictures of things that they found beautiful. Our little WY galloped around the front courtyard, taking pictures of everything from concrete to bricks, a shoe, and the side of a metal van. The whole time I followed her around and watched with the feeling a parent gets when they are watching their child do something that is too advanced or “out of their league.” You know, that, “awww…that is so cute” feeling. The assumption that little WL could not understand Ben’s directions because of her delayed cognitive development was there. She bent down to take a very VERY close shot of a 3-foot section of clover. I just thought to myself, “wow, that is going to be a pretty rough picture.” Upon seeing the developed image, again my expectations were shattered. The ever-changing hues of green, the veins winding through bringing life to the sturdy stem, the smallest drop of rain cradled on a single leaf.

Beautiful.

Piaoliang.

Little WY taught me to ignore my schooled knowledge and years of wisdom, my everyday ho-hum look at life. She taught me to crouch down really low to the ground, to life, and capture what is there beneath the expectations and knowledge. We must look deeper than what is normal, what is comfortable, to see the beauty. We must let go of preconceived ideas so we can consider and see more closely the beauty in God’s creation. He has made all things…all and everything beautiful. We just have to look more closely sometimes.

Piaoliang.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

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Beth Curry is the mother to three young children and married to a middle school teacher. Her heart for ministry has always been with youth, particularly high school students. She taught high school social studies for 6 years before deciding to stay at home to raise their three kids. However, she continues to work with youth as a leader for her church’s youth group, where she seeks to help teens embrace and know the grace of The Lord. More recently, she has become truly aware of the everyday blessings and love that the youth, as well as her own children receive and she was overcome with the desire to share the basic gift of love with the fatherless. This desire, and the will of God led her to join a Sparrow Fund/AWAA trip to an orphanage in China. Here, Beth hopes to share the basic love of a mother and the love of Christ with the nannies and children.