He put on an ironed shirt this morning, nice slacks, belt, and shoes. He kissed me goodbye and said, “Have a good day” just like he did yesterday and everyday last week and nearly every morning for the last 15 years of our marriage.

But, today was different. There was a spring in his step and an extra spark in his kiss because today was not like yesterday or the days before. Yesterday, he quit.

When he told his boss he was leaving, his boss wanted to play the game, give him a counter offer, encourage him to stay. When Mark told him he wasn’t headed over to a competitor but leaving the financial industry entirely, I think he left him a bit dumbfounded.

Leaving the industry. The one he’s worked in for 18 years.

Mark explained the work, his role specifically, how he’s been called to it. He told him how he’s been raising support so that we could do this. We thought he’d think we were crazy. Instead, he told Mark he was jealous; Mark will be doing something his heart is full in. It’s what everyone wants deep down, above wealth, benefits, prestige and all that comes with all three of those. Everyone wants to do something they love; maybe life too often gets in the way.

Just like that, Mark left that conference room, and everything was different. We knew his days there were numbered, but we didn’t know that number until now. He had imagined what that conversation would be like, played it over in his head. Now, the imagined is simply history, a day that we’ll remember that marks when we put a stake in the ground and said, “This is where we are meant to go, and we’re going.”

He’ll end well over the next two weeks, still putting on an ironed shirt and slacks and kissing me goodbye each morning, making sure things that need to be covered are covered, putting closure on all he can. But, at the end of those two weeks, he’ll close up a cardboard box with the few personal affects that made a sterile desk and chair his workplace, and he’ll drive home one last time for us to start a whole new part of our lives, one He’s been preparing us for all along.

It was a long drive (more about that later when I share all my road trip tricks) but well worth it to be here. So incredibly beautiful and serene despite the 400 or so middle school campers overlapping with our time there.

Alright, so maybe it wasn’t all serene. There may have been a little adventure going on too.

But, adventures in the big outdoors and the sheer beauty of Virginia mountains weren’t why we were there. There are 13 teachers heading across the world, and we got to play a little part in their prep over the last week. It was an adventure in an of itself really.

Some of the teachers are leaving as early as this weekend. Others leave this coming week. They’ll be arriving at 5 different colleges in Asia, teaching English and being ambassadors.

Trained, ready, eager.

We get a front row seat to the work happening. Need just a little more support to get a big official red stamp on that front row seat ticket. Then, we’ll be trained, ready, eager, and in it with them.

I feel as if a lot is being required of me right now. Though my list is ever long, the requirements I’m talking about are not my scribbled notes beside me as I type. They are requirements whispered directly into my heart—trust, have faith.

Trust is one thing. It’s based on history, and history is something I can grasp. Trust is earned. I trust because I’ve experienced cause to trust. The key to increasing trust is simply remembering—remembering God’s faithfulness, how He has moved in my life already, how I can trace His presence and movement to draw me to Himself. But, I’m being called to something else beyond trust. I am not called to only trust that He will continue to move and draw me to Himself and grow me and bless me as He has. I am called to have faith which is a whole different thing.

Faith isn’t based on history, though I believe God uses that history to help move me to have faith. It’s the conviction of things not yet seen. Faith is an assurance that isn’t earned as trust is earned. It’s not about remembering as much as it is about hope.

As we are facing big things, I trust Him. I trust that He is working in us and through us; I can look back and see that. I trust that He will equip us for that which He is calling us to; I can look back and see that He’s done that before. I trust that He will provide for us and that any temporal things we cannot have because of where He’s brought us will be simply temporal and nothing more; He’s done it before.

And, yet…

He’s taking us down a path we’ve never been before. And, I must have faith in Him in an entirely new way. If my independent spirit finds it hard to trust, you better believe that having faith is utterly unsettling and causes this heart to physically ache at times.

The best sermons are the ones we preach to ourselves. So, I’m doing a lot of preaching lately, all about God’s character and how He called His people to trust and have faith from the beginning of time and what happened when they did and what happened when they did not. If I can’t remember to see it in my own life, I’ll going to remember what He’s done in others’ lives when they stepped out to serve.

A year from now, months from now, maybe days from now, we will be in a different place, hopefully further along on that path He’s taking us. When I get there, I pray my trust is greater as we experience His faithfulness in our lives and that the need for increased faith is greater too. After all, we are arguably always taking a path we’ve never taken before, being called to trust that He’s constant and to have faith that He’s going before us.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
 How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
 Oh, for grace to trust Him more!