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Besides the cake and the pictures
It all started with this. Just an email, followed by lots of long phone conversations before we had unlimited long distance on cell phones. 109 days later, we were engaged.
Gazing down at my diamond and band below it as I helped our 11 year old with long division this afternoon, I thought to myself that I wouldn’t change a thing. The way we met, our first real date, his proposal, the season of engagement, the beautiful warm sunshine we had on September 26, 1998.
I wouldn’t change the look we exchanged when we first saw each other a long aisle apart and the feeling I had that at that moment, I was the most beautiful woman in the world.
I wouldn’t change the long veil in front and behind me that gathered in a big poof on the floor as we knelt to pray,
I wouldn’t change the vows we exchanged in front of a couple hundred people feeling like we were the only ones there.
I wouldn’t change the butterflies I felt when we first kissed as husband and wife while he held my hands tightly.
I wouldn’t change that feeling I had that nothing else mattered but us, that I didn’t care at all about linen colors and buffet lines, just knowing that we would be leaving that place together and would never be without each other again.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
Except that Winnie-the-Pooh colored cake that should have been ivory. I’d change that. And, maybe the scrapbook I put together to hold our mediocre photographs. That too.
But, besides the cake and the cheesy album, 15 years later, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Very much in love with the man who still gives me butterflies…
It’s our ivory year
14 years ago. I confidently walked down that aisle and gazed into the eyes of the man I loved and vowed, guided by my own father, to be married to him until death do us part. The only anxiety I had was about my hair and where we were headed for our honeymoon since the threat of a hurricane had evacuated the Florida Keys where we were headed.
I wasn’t anxious about being married at all. Because I had no clue.
That day, I had no idea what life would look like and what God would bring over the next 14 years.
Losing a parent, infertility, losing 4 babies, work stress, a layoff, the struggle of parenting a child who struggled and the label of “special needs,” adopting from China, starting a nonprofit, the struggle to balance it all.
All we knew was to hold fast (Gen 2:24) to each other. And, looking back over the last 14 years, we’ve done that pretty well–better through some seasons than others.
The 14th anniversary, the ivory anniversary. I don’t know who chose that symbol for this year, but maybe the desire for ivory beginnings is universal when you’ve been married 14 years.
Mark’s card this year — it’s ivory white with a simple message.
As we start our 15th year as one, I want to have an ivory start, forgiving all and living in freedom of all that hinders us from “holding fast” to one another. I look forward to what God writes all over the ivory canvases of our lives as He takes us and puts us where He wants us to be and we do what He has already prepared in advance for us to do.
11×14 Ivory canvases to hang above our bed ready to be filled. Who knows what will fill them–love notes, artwork, photos. Whatever will fill them during different seasons will remind us that though we don’t know the future, He does. And, He is the one that will equip us by His grace to hold fast.
Wonder what Mark is giving me. Maybe he bought me an elephant.
*update* no elephant. My clever, creative husband gave me old piano key facades on a key ring with the words: “You will always have the key to my heart” written on them.
Overthinking on Fathers’ Day
There is a reason Disney movies are wildly successful, a reason beyond crazy realistic animation and multimillion dollar marketing. Before all that, there were what you might call the simple classics–Snow White, Cinderella, The Sword in the Stone…
There’s something all these movies, stories, share. There’s a hero and someone who needs a hero.
I believe we were all created with a longing for a hero.
Growing up, we moved a lot with my dad on Young Life staff. New houses. New schools. New friends. Even new pets from year to year. But, no matter where we lived, the three girls in our family played ball. It was sort of the one stable thing I can remember. I think the first thing my parents did in a new town wasn’t to find a good mechanic but to sign us up for softball. My mom carted us around to and fro every practice. And, I think both my parents made every game pretty much. At one particular game in maybe 5th grade, this short stop took a line drive right off the mitt and into the mouth. I remember crying and bleeding. And, then I remember my dad running onto the field, scooping me up like a baby, and carrying me to the car. I think he joked about me messing up his shirt or something like that. But, what I remember most clearly was him being my hero.
We spent summers at Young Life camp where, at about that same age, I know I acted like I owned the place. There was one particular college aged summer staff guy who overstepped boundaries just a wee bit when I was being sassy to my older sister one night. I don’t remember much about if I told my parents or my shocked older sister did in my defense. But, what I do remember was looking out the window of the staff housing and seeing my dad give that boy a talking to I’d never seen before. And, I knew that he was my hero.
We debate over whether my dad ever changed a diaper. I can’t remember him ever helping us with homework. And, if Mom was away and he had the task of getting us up and to school, he was known to wake us up with Banjo playing or the Beach Boys on the record player. But, I longed for a hero. And, along the way, I knew he was one as we walked the halls of different high schools with my grape soda in hand.
Now, I have the joy of parenting alongside my best friend. He’s a different dad than our dads were in a lot of ways. He’s changed way more diapers than he cares to remember. He bathed all the babies and sat by the bath tub just to talk to them and make them laugh. They think he can fix anything–and I’m pretty content with them thinking I can fix nothing. They love wrestling and being enveloped by him as they cackle and he growls ferociously. When he plays hockey early enough that all are still awake, we bundle up and sit in the stands. They can’t follow the game; but they sure follow their daddy, cheering his name and clearly giddy with excitement when he looks their general direction. They get that he works to provide for us and that he’s “in charge” of the family.
We trust him. We know he loves us.
He’s so their hero. And, for the past nearly 14 years, he’s been my hero too.
Happy father’s day, Dad – the hero of my youth who may not have changed my diaper but now reads my blog faithfully.
And, happy father’s day, Mark – my hero for life and the one leading our family and pointing us all to the Hero everyday.
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