That’s right. Still. Wordless.

Today was my go-ahead day to speak again. So, I tried.
And.
Nothing.
Came.
Out.

I’m frustrated. I’m tired of not being able to say anything to my kids. I’m fearing this coming week.

Pray that I can make some sort of audible sound tomorrow.

Just me and my Macbook here with another update.

I’m moving around a bit better though still unable to speak. I’ve gone through quite a few pages in a spiral notebook scribbling things to try to communicate. Most of the time though, I don’t bother. It takes too long. Last night, Mark fell asleep before I finished writing my sentence. He joked with me about just turning out the light if he wants me to “stop talking.” Very funny. If I could laugh, I would…or not.

The kids have been doing pretty well. I let one child on the bed with me at a time. Evan brought his chess board up and played me a couple times. He actually taught me chess and then promptly beat me in it. Ashlyn has been coming up to do her devotions with me. And, Drew, silly Drew, just comes up to get under the covers and snuggle a bit. He isn’t so weirded out now by the cut on my neck which is good.

Yesterday, Drew came up to sit with me and “read” a book. He’s only 4. He doesn’t read. But, he enjoys books and sat with me to flip through Furious George Goes Bananas. We flipped through and he told me the story. On one page, there was a little box that said on it “Gorilla crackers.” He asked me, “What does that say?” I shook my head no and shrugged, reminding him that I couldn’t talk. He said, “Oh yeah, here, [handing me the spiral notebook] write it down.” Hmm…took him a minute to consider the logic of that and that it wouldn’t help either.

I come off strict vocal rest tomorrow. Looking forward to that but also a bit anxious since I know that my voice is not going to really work for a while. The doctor said it could be hoarse for 4-6 weeks. So, I think I’ll probably stay pretty quiet still.

If you haven’t entered my giveaway yet, go ahead. I’ve been enjoying reading the comments there, especially the suggestions for topics to address on We Are Grafted In.

That’s my bedroom….and it’s wordless (from me at least)

So, how many sit-ups do you think equals 1/4 cup of tummy fat?

Tomorrow, I’m having 1/4 cup of fat liposuctioned from my belly and put into my vocal cords. Very odd. My vocal cords don’t meet in the middle as they should. I have partial vocal cord paralysis, one doesn’t move at the same rate of the other. This causes a lot of strain on a voice. I used to lose my voice a lot but never knew why. When we went to Disney World a few years back, yelling and speaking over background noise did me in. I lost my voice and it didn’t come back…for months, about 6 months actually. Because of the partial paralysis and a lot of strain, I developed blisters on my vocal cords that had to be surgically removed to get my voice back. Then, a second surgery involved putting a gortex implant in on the side of my vocal cord to push it over so that they would meet better and I wouldn’t strain my voice to speak. But, I reacted to the nonreactive gortex implant (figures) and after a few months of increased discomfort and sounding horrible, they did a 3rd surgery to remove it. So, tomorrow is the surgery to do something else. I’m not thrilled about going back in (obviously). It’s not fun. I hate general anesthesia (though at least I get to be asleep for the surgery. I had to be awake for the one when they put the implant in). And, I don’t know what to expect recovery to be like.

But, the fact that I get some lipo is a bit of a redeeming factor to this whole thing. How discouraged I was when I googled lipo tonight and learned that a normal lipo of the belly involves WAY more than 1/4 cup. 1/4 cup isn’t much at all really–4 tablespoons to be exact. I asked the doctor at my last appointment if they could just suck out a little more as a favor for me. She laughed. I am taking that as a no. Darn it.

My surgery is at 8:15 tomorrow morning. Pray for me…and for Mark as he plays Mr. Mom and Mr. Dad and Mr. Everything for the rest of the week. Poor guy, a man who likes quiet, now has to speak for both of us once again. My lips are sealed until the weekend starting at 8:15am.