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My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

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Ayi For A Day Kit {50 for 50 in 5 weeks}

9.1.15

They are oft overlooked much like the children they care for. They live in a place where what you do and how much you make is everything which means they have very little. Watching over and meeting the needs of children with no known roots is hardly considered a career; it’s a job. Some of the ayis do their best to do that job well despite the meager pay they’re given. They braid little girls’ hair, make funny faces to make babies giggle, pursue the child who looks different. Others simply do their duty. All of them are in the hard and obviously broken corners of our world, and they cannot help but be impacted by it.

They go by the name Ayi or, in some places, are all called Mama in painful irony of the purpose of what they do. Their purpose is to ready children for new mamas, to care for children well enough so that they can leave to be cared for by another, living in a seemingly endless cycle of nurture and departure. Surely, most ayis are glad to see a child leave as it means he has a future and will become something he could never become where he is now. We’ve seen ayis clap their hands and laugh aloud at the news that one of their children has a family coming for her. But, we can only imagine that their hearts bear scars as well from all the goodbyes. Those scars run deeper still for those who were once little girls there themselves but never got to say goodbye.

We intercede for vulnerable children, but we often overlook these vulnerable women. His hearts breaks for them as well, as should ours. It is impossible for us to truly know what their days are like, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to enter in. This effort launched today is to move us towards that and give us an opportunity to crack that door open and enter into the experience of a woman whose heart is not unlike our own.

Ayi For a Day.

ayi for a day kit 4The Sparrow Fund team has thoughtfully and carefully assembled 50 kits, each one slightly different in shades and tastes, to engage and unite 50 women in interceding for the ayis in China we serve at an orphanage in Shaanxi as well the innumerable ayis all over China. The kits include various items to use over the course of one dedicated day—shoe covers, sleeve covers, tea, chopsticks, Chinese snacks, Chinese money, and more—with specific prayer prompts to lead you in prayer as you do. But, the experience isn’t over at the end of one day. Enclosed in each kit will be a postage-paid envelope you will use to return the sleeve covers to me in time to be hand carried to China on October 7th. The sleeve covers you will wear and pray over on your Ayi Day will become an ayi gift and placed on the hands of an another woman on the other side of the globe.

ayi for a day kit 3We need 50 women who desire to join their hearts and prayers for the sake of 50 other women in China.

50 kits for 50 women for a donation of $50 in 5 weeks. That’s our goal. The money raised will be put into The Sparrow Fund’s orphan care and ayi care fund. And, the prayers raised will change the world.

Click on the “Donate” button below linked up to The Sparrow Fund’s fundraising account to become one of the 50. Please note #ayiday or “Ayi For A Day” in the notes field when you donate. I’ll personally mail your kit to you next week with clear instructions on how to use it to engage your family and your own heart.




Only 50 kits are available, so don’t wait. And, just to encourage you a little more, the first 10 women who join the effort will find a little extra gift in their kit just for fun. 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

the big brother {advocating}

8.14.15

We were getting into the van to leave the orphanage for the day when the director gently touched my arm and said something to our translator.

He wants to know if he can show you one more child to find a family for.

He brought me to a tall boy who was waiting for me on the front steps, fiddling with his fingers obviously nervous but also impressively willing to look me right in the eye. He continued to stand before me, nodding his head occasionally as the director spoke about him to me with the translator next to us relaying every word.

He goes to a school nearby and is very smart. He’s very social. He likes computers and running.

I saw an opportunity and jumped in.

Running? Wow. Are you fast?

Bigger smile and a head nod as he answers.

He says he’s good and wins races.

I offered him a high 5, and he accepted. The director went on.

The only thing wrong with him is that he looks weird. His brain is all normal.

I was stunned.

His eyes looked away from me as I blinked more than I should have in nervousness.

I wrote down notes in the green binder I carried with me everywhere.

school. smart. very social. computer. running….only his eyes.

That’s his reality. He’s known as the boy who looks weird. But, by some supernatural gift of grace, he’s still able to smile with his crooked teeth and unusual features and look me right in the eye.

On the last day our team was at the orphanage, the staff allowed us to take all the children who were able outside for free play. We blew bubbles and used sidewalk chalk and bounced balls and raced plasma cars. We were nearly finished when I saw L. C.G. in his school uniform running to join us. He looked right at me as he had done before with a big smile but then walked right past me. I saw his head turning, clearly looking for someone. I thought he might be looking for an ayi, maybe looking for the other boys his age whose disabilities keep them from going out to school as he gets to do. Suddenly, he stopped turning as he found what he was looking for.

for advocating post - 1

L. C.G. scooped up a child, a little one who clearly knew him as evidenced by how tightly he wrapped his poofy little arms around his neck. There in the courtyard of a place known for broken relationships, I witnessed brokenness being redeemed.

for advocating post 2 - 1

Before all else, the boy who “looks weird” was searching for this little boy. He hugged him and spoke to him as I stood marveling at how he knew he could offer this child something no one else in that place could.

After a few minutes, he put him down and brought him to an ayi and then ran off to join his buddies racing around the yard on bikes way too small for their growing bodies but not unlike my own sons would do at home.

I added more notes to my binder that night.

Gentle. Compassionate. Would make a great big brother. Look for his file. This boy needs a family.

_____________________________________

His file has been found. He’s on the shared list right now which means any agency can show families his file. And, any family—no matter where they are in their adoption process—can hold and lock his file to move forward to make him their son. Feel free to email me at kraudenbush@sparrow-fund.org if you have questions about him or the adoption process or about an agency to help you. And, click HERE to read the letter he wrote only days ago for me to share with all of you.

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: Advocating, China, Orphans, The Sparrow Fund

The missing plane

8.5.15

Baoji - 1

It was our last day in China. The week in the city where my own child’s history began where I led a team to serve alongside the same women who had cared for her before I could was life changing. I tried to capture a few last quintessential images before we boarded a plane for home.

bikes - 1

 

lily pads - 1

The 13 of us boarded a plane to Beijing from Xi’an and quietly boarded a van to go to our hotel for a quick night’s sleep before leaving for the states in the morning. We were tired and emotional and processing all that we had seen and experienced.

We had no idea what we were walking into when we arrived.

White vans with satellites filled the traffic circle in front of the hotel and blocked the van we were in. Men and women with cameras by their sides stood outside smoking and anxiously looking around, seemingly worried their break might cost them some big break. We were forced to park further away than we wished and complained as we pulled our luggage out and hiked to the revolving glass doors revealing a lobby bustling with activity. We made light of it, laughing with each other about what Chinese rockstar might be staying in the same hotel that night.

And, then we went inside to witness what has become quintessential images themselves of something else entirely.

(AP Photo/Ng Han Guan)

(AP Photo/Ng Han Guan)

MH370-lido hotel china-32214

(AFP/Goh Chai Hin)

metropark lido march 2014

(AFP/Goh Chai Hin)

There was tangible grief in that lobby and filling those rooms. Women wrung their hands in fancy chairs as others vainly tried to pat their back in comfort. We stood stunned at the sight of it all, asking our guide to explain what we were seeing. She didn’t want to.

We learned about the missing Malaysian airplane via texts sent to home as we stood feet away from the families of the victims. We struggled to piece the story together using our families at home and our phones with V P Ns. And, then we proceeded to our rooms, wondering what the evening would hold, anxious about what security might be like the next morning as the team boarded a plane to home, expecting to hear what happened to the plane before we left.

We didn’t.

That was 515 days ago. And, the missing flight remains one of aviation’s biggest mysteries.

But, now there’s something.

I’ve been anxiously tracking the story since I heard last week that wreckage had been found. Only an hour ago, I heard that it has been confirmed; it’s from the missing plane that went down that day.

The answers we thought we’d get before we left Beijing on March 9th, 2014 may never come. But, it’s something. At least it’s something. And, we’ll keep following for more somethings because this story about a tragedy far away really isn’t that far away. We were there. We were in a plane heading to Beijing on that very day. We were there. And, we heard the cries of mothers that day in real time, not on a screen that makes it hard to feel a sense of community. We were there.

Screen Shot 2015-08-05 at 4.35.43 PM

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China

Today was Caleb’s first day

8.4.15

Caleb 1

You may be able to tell that snoop dog Caleb has some big news, folks.

The boy who cried if someone called him little and when I suggested that I wanted to put him in a shrinking machine so that I could make him small forever and carry him around with me wherever I went is now a state-fortified big boy. He started kindergarten today.

And, from Helen’s email in my inbox this morning, it kinda seems like the day was a bit harder on her and Frank than Caleb.

Caleb 3

Very likely, Helen is one of the best homeschooling mothers in the world. At 4 1/2, Caleb already reads and speaks two languages. I’m not exaggerating to make a point. He really does. He also craves being with people which isn’t always easy for his mama as they live on the 8th floor of an apartment building on the edge of a pretty big city where all the other children his age have been in school full-time since they were 3.

So, today was his first day, a day that started at 7:30am and ended at 5pm as it will go from now on. And, despite his complaints that the bathroom with only squatty potties smelled bad and the music for morning exercises was too loud, it sounded like he did pretty well. He told Helen he’d be okay with using only squatties there, embracing them as character builders. He told her, “I will use it. This is how you learn endurance.”

That boy.

Sounds like Frank and Helen will be learning a few things too as they start a new season of life as parents of a little…I mean, big boy…Chinese student.

Frank and I had a hard day. It feels so quiet at home. It seems the day is so long for us.

Long, hard days while your first child goes to school for the first time apparently is universal. {sigh} #wasitreally9yearsagoforme?

Caleb 2

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Posted by Kelly the Overthinker
Filed Under: China, Helen

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