My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Gracie girl now {1st post from our China trip}

This sweet child has her own following (and rightfully so). So, she gets her own post just of glimpses of her sweetness.

I confess that my heart broke a little when she gave me that scowl and pulled away, leaning back into her mama and making it abundantly clear that I was only good for the sunglasses she wanted to try on. But, in that same moment, I am also overwhelmingly thankful that she has that deep connection to her mama and that their family is what it is. And, when I feel that, my heart no longer breaks for her not remembering me but for all those who don’t have that connection yet.

Grace May 2016 - 1Grace May 2016 - 2Grace May 2016 - 3Grace May 2016 - 4Grace May 2016 - 4 (1)Grace May 2016 - 3 (1)Grace May 2016 - 2 (1)

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China again

Kids world map with arrow

Does it ever start to feel “old hat” or is it fresh still to you?

It’s a good question to ask of people whose passports are well stamped. We gave a neat, short answer on Sunday evening when we were asked. It was honest, but it was short and sweet. But, I’ve been thinking of it and off since then.

My to-do list is a file in Word, saved and reused over and over again. Clean off phone. Write notes for kids. Notify schools. Charge headphones. I have varied versions of a packing list for different seasons with cute little boxes for my checkmarks. We have a bit of a routine to this now. I know which sized packing cube to use for each category of clothing. The 13 1/2 hour plane ride no longer causes heart palpitations. It’s all much easier now than it used to be. We know what to do, when to do it, how to compensate when we don’t do it when we should have done it (which happens), and what to expect on the other side. We know where to go when we touch down in Beijing without reading any overhead signs. We look like foreigners and stand in the lines for foreigners but don’t feel all that foreign now. Maybe there’s a little bit of old hat in that.

We’ll be greeted by a few students at the airport and get on a charter bus for another few hours. When we finally arrive, there will be lots of students clapping and cheering for our arrival. It happens every time. But, the only old hat in that is the comfort of knowing it will be there, all those people will be there welcoming us.

Every trip is new. Even with a number of team members who go nearly every time, the team is new. At no other time was this particular team together going to this place to do this work. Never before were these 15 people teaching this curriculum and giving these messages and taking these students on trips to a park and to the Great Wall. While the schedule looks the same on a two-dimensional sheet of paper, it’s actually entirely new, a fact which makes our job as leaders anything but routine and comfortable. We’re leading the charge in unchartered territory which is both incredibly energizing and incredibly exhausting.

We leave home again in about 16 hours. Empty boxes are being checked, and Super Grammy is on her way now. We know how to do all this. But, it’s all new to us at the same time. Every time.

Here we go.

Baoding with Isaiah

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We’re friends {orphanage trip}

drawing - 1
Several times a week, I drive about 45 minutes from home to a counseling office where I get to serve adoptive families in a formal way. There, I get to come alongside parents to help them build stronger connections with their children and empower them to be agents of healing in their children’s lives as they process hard things. It very well be one of the best gigs in the world.

I was there last week, sitting on the floor with a mom and dad and their daughter, talking about her hard start and the orphanage where she had spent the first several years of her life. As I helped her imagine what the orphanage may have been like for her, we talked.

“You know, I have been in an orphanage in China. I visit one every year actually.”

“What do you do there?” she asked.

In intentional simplicity, I answered, “I teach.”

“And, do they teach you?” she asked.

“They do.” I answered with a smile.

“So, you’re one of them?” she asked warmly.

“I am.”

“Then, you’re friends with each other because that’s what friends do.”

“We are. We’re very much friends.”

It was a profound conversation in the midst of my efforts to help her better understand her own history. Her questions and her “therefore-conclusion” in the end have kept playing over in my head.

I’m a detail person. I confess that sometimes the who, what, and when take more up more room in my mental priority list than the how. On the floor last week, she brought me back to the how. We are there to serve as a team and to do that in the context of relationships. We are there to be friendship builders.

I can’t wait to serve there again with whoever it is He calls to go with me.

 

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a year ago today {Grace turns 1}

Exactly one year ago this minute, I was holding my breath. A woman who had become a dear friend over the months we had shared a a home sat at my kitchen table, clutching her side and trying to look like she wasn’t as far along as she was. The next 90 minutes were like an episode of Amazing Race with the end goal being a brand new baby girl.

And, we won.

We fought against a family planning policy that limited this family to two children or one son {meaning, if the first child was a girl, they were allowed to have a second child to try again for a boy}. We fought against visa limitations that make it hard for women and children to leave the country. We fought against our own selfishness and self-protection and inclination to say mine mine mine with our home and our food and our things.

And, we won. With help from a lot of people, we won. And, as a result, one of the most beautiful little creatures ever created entered the world…here…in the land of the free and the brave…to a mama who is one of the bravest people I know.

Grace birth announcement 2

Today, that beautiful little creature turns one.

And, she’s just as marvelous as she was then.

gracie girl - 6

gracie girl - 7

gracie girl - 4

gracie girl - 3

 

In October, two days after Grace turned 7 months old, China announced a big change to their family planning policy that had been in effect for three decades. As of the start of 2016, families across the nation would be allowed two children regardless of the children’s gender. Unfortunately, the law is not retroactive. So, Grace is still considered an illegal birth. Despite the fact that she holds U.S. citizenship, in order to register her in China for her ID card so that she can go to school, receive benefits allowed to their citizens, and even buy train tickets, her parents are still being told they will need to pay an exorbitant fine not required for second children born only 9 months after her. We will press on praying for more changes, better changes, and for this child who He’s going to use for big, big things. He already has.

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