About 2 weeks short of 2 years ago, our dossier (i.e., huge pile of paperwork proving we aren’t criminal and explaining why we want to adopt, etc.) was received by the China office for adoptions. Today, we got word that our paperwork has been reviewed and approved and has moved from the review room to the matching room. This is big news for us! Since we have joined the special needs program, it means that when we do accept a referral for our daughter, we will only wait about 3 months until we will travel to get her. If we were not through review yet, the process could take 5 months or more as long since they would have to dig through thousands of dossiers in the review room to find ours then review it and approve it before they approve our travel date. For the nonspecial needs program, it’s just nice to know that your paperwork is in the right spot.

To welcome new life, a tradition exists in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei (100 good wishes quilt). Family and friends are invited to contribute a square of cloth along with a good wish for the baby. The squares of cloth are all sewn together into a quilt, and the good wishes are put into a scrapbook for the child. The quilt symbolizes wrapping the child in the good wishes of family and friends.

We are making our own version of this quilt by making a yo-yo blanket for her and a yo-yo doll for her big sister Ashlyn. Would you please contribute to it?

Here’s what you need to do:
1. Choose a 100% cotton fabric that you like. It can come from a quilting or fabric store, fabric you already have, or something that is special to you like an old piece of significant clothing, etc.

2. Wash the material if it is new to let it shrink before it is cut.

3. Cut a square measuring about 12″ by 12″

4. Write your wish for Lydia. The wish can be your own words or thoughts, a favorite poem or quote, a blessing, a prayer, or a favorite scripture—whatever keepsake words you would like Lydia to have from you. You can e-mail a message to me (mkraudy@verizon.net) or send a hard copy. If you are sending a hard copy, please do not make these larger than letter sized. From these, I will compile a scrapbook for her. Please also include a picture of you or your family—you can e-mail a digital picture to me (mkraudy@verizon.net) or send me a hard copy. We would love for you to write a few words separately for Ashlyn as well so that she can have a scrapbook that goes along with her yo-yo doll. So, if you could do something similar for Ash, that would be great.

Thanks for contributing to these keepsakes for both of our daughters. I’m excited about putting it all together and telling Lydia all about each one of you and how we all anticipated her arrival into our family as well as encouraging Ashlyn in her role as big sister.

A friend of ours is in China right now. In less than 6 hours, they will meet their daughter Alexandria for the first time. They were originally in the nonspecial needs program and were on the same timeline as us–their paperwork was logged into China’s system in July 2007 as ours was. But, the long wait and God’s tug at their hearts caused them to reconsider the special needs program. Their new daughter turned 2 years old in December. She has a cleft lip and is such a cute little girl. I’ve been following their blog to see the first pictures of them together and hear about their trip. Hours ago, 3AM China time, she posted this excerpt from the website/blog of the woman who runs the organization Love Without Boundaries, an organization that was started by adoptive parents to help Chinese orphans in countless ways (check out their website here). Reading this was instrumental in their decision to pursue a waiting child. I find it incredibly moving and worth posting again here. 

There is a beautiful seven year old boy in Guangdong province who is in need of his own mom and dad to love him. His medical need is that he was burned as a child, but he has not let that stop him from going to kindergarten, making lots of friends, and charming the socks off of everyone who meets him. Right in his adoption file it says that he can make a friend out of anyone in 30minutes flat. This little boy only has a few days left before his file is due to go back to China…..unchosen. Isn’t that a horrible word? Unchosen. It is hard to believe that any child would have to carry that label.

This particular little boy weighs heavy on my heart tonight for a reason I want to explain. You see….his orphanage first contacted us to see if we could help him medically with his burns. But as soon as we heard about how smart he was and how personable, we convinced the orphanage that his real hope was in being adopted. The orphanage wasn’t sure. They didn’t think anyone would want to adopt an older boy, and one with burns on his body. But we assured them that somewhere there was a family waiting for a little boy just like him. And so the orphanage agreed. But then the province was also unsure, and so we once again said, “we know there will be a family”. Finally his file was sent up to Beijing and then on to a US adoption agency. And no family has yet been found.

I think it is important for me to interject a story here, and my apologies tomy friend Lisa for not getting her permission first to tell it. I hope she will forgive me. When I was first getting started with my work in China, one of the orphanages we helped did not do many special needs adoptions. They didn’t think that the kids would be chosen, and so many of the children were getting older and watching only the healthy babies leave for their new homes. They would hear the aunties say to the babies, “oh today is a lucky day….you will have a family to love you.” And the preschoolers and older kids would think to themselves….’it must be wonderful to have a family pick you.’

Well, we were going to do a heart surgery for one little girl in this orphanage, and so I asked for a photo of her so that we could raise funds. This orphanage didn’t have a lot of nice clothing, so for this special photograph they wanted the little girl to look nice. Another little girl in the orphanage, named Yan, who was just three years old, had been given a beautiful red coat by a volunteer, and she loved that red coat and wore it all the time. The aunties went and took off her red coat to put on the child with heart disease for her photo, and Yan burst into tears crying. The aunties scolded her and said, “Yan, you must share your red coat…don’t be selfish”, but Yan kept crying and crying and kept trying to climb over the gate to get out in the hallway where the photo was being taken. Finally one aunty had heard enough, and so she walked over to Yan to take her back into the room. As she got closer, she realized that Yan was NOT crying because the other little girl was wearing her coat. No, not at all. Yan was crying while saying over and over, “take MY picture…please take MY picture. I want a family….take my picture so I can have a family, too. “

You see, at the ripe old age of three, Yan had already learned that the only way a baby got a family was by having her picture taken first. And she wanted a family of her own so badly, that she was crying to her aunties to please take her photo, too.

I wanted to share this story because the reason I am so sad that Joey hasn’t found a home yet doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that we told his orphanage a family would be found, or that we told provincial that certainly there was a family for him. I am sad thinking about Joey because I know exactly what happened when they prepared his adoption file earlier this year. I have been in orphanages when they do the files, and each and every time the aunties try to make the kids look at cute as possible. They say things like, ‘smile pretty so a family will pick you.”

I am sad when I think about Joey’s file, because I know he had probably gotten used to the idea that there would not be a family coming for him because of his burns….and then we went and placed hope back into his heart. I am sure he knew exactly why the orphanage was taking hisphotos that day, and I am sure the staff told him to look as handsome and clever as possible so that a family would choose him. Tonight I am thinking about this handsome little boy who is probably wondering each day now if his photo was good enough for a family to choose him.So far…..no one has. I still want to believe that there is someone out there who is wanting alittle boy to love and read stories to. Surely there is someone out there who would want to teach him to fish, show him how to hit a baseball, and who would let him ride on their shoulders feeling like he was the king of the world. Surely somewhere there is a family who can give Joey the unbelievable gift of knowing he is CHOSEN, so that he can finally be home where he belongs.

….you know that I-600 & I-171 aren’t highways


….you’ve been expecting a baby for 2 years 
(or more)
…you’ve actually googled what animal has the longest gestation period just to compare it with your own (note—it’s the elephant with just under a 2-year pregnancy. So, ours will be longer)
…you know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Pottery Barn or dishes


…your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #2 or #3 or #4)


…you never know how many days next month will have


…you know that babies come in batches


…you’ve been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime


…you automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl


…you own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you don’t know when or how big)


…you look twice when you see a ladybug


…you know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months


…your due date hasn’t changed by days but by years


…you know who Rumor Queen is AND you don’t know who she is


…you start using rumor ratings (R1, R2, R3, etc.) in conversation with your husband
…you know that forecast doesn’t have anything to do with the weather


…you’ve waited so long, they rechecked your fingerprints to see if they changed


…trying to understand why they’re printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles


…you speak of “that time of month” referring to CCAA updates & referrals
…you love someone you’ve never met with all your heart.