At the grocery store check out: “So, what is Santa bringing you for Christmas this year?” Kids: “We don’t believe in Santa.” Grocery store check-out lady and all others in earshot: gasps of horror.
We don’t do Santa in our house. What does that mean? That means the kids know that we shop for gifts for them, and we fill their stockings hung by the chimney with care (by me). We tell the kids that some families like to play a game with their children that Santa is real and brings them gifts at Christmas. But, he’s just that, a game based on a really nice man who lived a long time ago named St. Nicholas who gave money to poor families. Santa is not banned from our Christmas celebrations though. We still wave to him at the mall as we explain that it’s really a man dressed up like Santa. We still read “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” We still listen to “Here Comes Santa Claus” and “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” among other classics. (Ashlyn’s current favorite—embarrasingly enough—is Mele Kalikimaka. Evan’s is “Carol of the Bells”—no hymns there.) And, we enjoy watching the classic Christmas cartoons like Rudolph and even Merry Madagascar—though I slightly regret the latter due to the kids continually quoting Santa as saying he wants to “shake his booty.”
This is the right choice for our family—though we have told the kids that some families really like the game, so don’t tell other kids that Santa is not real in case they believe he is. There are several reasons why:
- Simply put, keeping up the Santa story can distract us from talking about Jesus’ birth and the significance of the incarnation.
- Lying is wrong. We know people who have created quite a web of lies to protect their children’s belief in Santa. I can only imagine that one day their children will be upset that their parents lied to them and may not trust their parents as they should be able to do.
- Furthermore, if we were to lie about Santa, would our children question whether we are lying about other things that are unseen. If we ask them to believe in a Santa they cannot see and they find out we have lied, will they doubt whether our testimony that God is real is true?
- We want our children to understand the value of the gifts they are given, from us or other family members, and recognize that some gifts are a real sacrifice financially and have taken a lot of effort. We want them to learn gratefulness for this sacrifice. We aren’t asking that they thank us profusely for our gifts to them or that they even know that I have used money that I was saving for another purpose in order to buy them that game. But, teaching that Santa has given the gifts, in our opinion, takes away from their understanding of generosity and sacrifice.
- We do not want them to fall prey to a works mentality. I’ve heard parents say, “You better stop that. Santa will put you on the naughty list!” We don’t want our children to think that blessings depend on whether they have been good or bad. We want them to understand what grace is–God’s unmerited favor, kindness from God that we don’t deserve. There is nothing we have done or can ever do to earn this favor. We believe that teaching them that “being bad” may put them on the “naughty list” and mean less presents or a lump of coal may very well hinder their understanding of grace.
Allow me to clarify that we do not have a “holier than thou” attitude about this. And, we are not judgmental towards families who encourage the belief in Santa. I understand that some adults have very fond memories of leaving out milk and cookies and such and want that for their children as well. It’s just our choice for our family.
Our reasons are pretty much the same as yours. I grew up without Santa because my mother as a child was devistated to finds out he wasn’t real and she didn’t want that for her children. It seems like it’s so much more of a big deal then when I was little, mabye that is just the cultre trying to make it even more secular and leave Jesus out of it all together.
love it.
we don’t do santa in our house either – i love to see other families who do it to! (we’re not wierd!)
this week, grace asked me “Mom, how can Santa see us all the time and know if we’re bad or good or know if we are sleeping? I thought only God could do that?”
Thats why we don’t do santa.
I admit, we do play along with the Santa thing, although we do not put big emphasis on it at all. The kids know what Christmas is all about and that Santa is no part of that. If they come out and ask me I would certainly tell them the truth. I totally see why you’ve chose to teach your children not to believe. Kudos to you!
GREAT points. I mean REALLY great points. We do Santa, but in the most casual of ways. We never said much about him, he just thinks of Santa whatever the Christmas specials say…we never tqlk about him. When my son asks a direct question about it, I always answer honestly. So, when he asked me if there was really a naughty list (which he never heard form us, but from TV specials), I told him, “No, that’s something parents say to their kids to get them to behave.”
We just join in the fun of Santa (who only brings ONE of the presents) without all the attention drawn to it. I love your thoughts though….very good points.
Love it! Jeez, Kel, you could write a book about it! Seriously, I think it is awesome! We did Santa until the kids started being disturbed by the fact that we let strangers into the house while we were all sleeping. This goes for the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc… They know Santa is not real and they tell people (who ask about Santa) that “Santa” is really mommy and daddy. They also include the Easter bunny and tooth fairy in their reply! Your kids are blessed to have Godly parents who instill awesome values in them! Well written!
Nor do we do Santa, except for the fun of seeing him in a parade or on TV. He pretty much ranks right there with candy canes for us; just a decoration for this time of year. My parents taught me to believe in Santa, and I was confused for years in early adolescence (sp?) because I kept asking my parents about him and their answers were wishy washy. It was very disturbing. Then, when I was a young adult and finally came to understand the truth about Jesus, I was shocked to find out he really was a person! Yep…I grew up hearing Christians used the phrase “believe in Jesus” and in my child-brain it was just like “believe in Santa”, the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, etc. So I don’t want my kids to “believe” in Santa, and we don’t use the phrase “believe” in Jesus, either. We say “put your faith/trust in Jesus”. It means the same thing, but interpretations are unpredictable to little ears.
Merry Week-Before Christmas, Kelly!
Hi Kelly,
Thanks so much for commenting on my blog. I love meeting new friends:-).
This post definitely makes you think. We do Santa here….but, I’m with Jenna…He fills the stockings and brings one gift. I can totally relate to your reasoning, and honestly if I could ‘rewind’…I would probably not do Santa for many of the reasons you stated.
Good points, Kelly. I grew up in a family that did not put any emphasis on Santa…though I do remember thinking he was real when I was around 5 or so, and I think my parents played along. But it was never anything they forced on us, just played the ‘game’ while we were little. I think if it’s done with a light heart and very ‘mildly’ it can be fun for awhile…but I do believe that by the time kids hit school age, they should know for sure. My daughter had a girl on her bus who was still believing in Santa when she was 10 years old, and when the other kids told her he wasn’t real, she started crying on the bus. I felt bad for her for 2 reasons…first off, that her fantasy was crushed, and second of all, because the kids were teasing her. So there really has to be balance and common sense, too. And Jesus definitely needs to be the FOCUS and the REASON for the season. So much commercialization and He get’s ripped out of there. I’m not okay with that!
Take care and have a blessed Christmas! <>< love, Tanya
Kelly,
Thanks for this post. We have never really encouraged any sort of belief in Santa in our house, but we’ve never really discussed or “discouraged” it either. This is the first year that Ryan has even talked at all about Santa. Your post was good food for thought for us on how to handle this topic going forward! Interestingly enough, another blogger (who promotes belief in Santa) that I follow posted this on her site, “The Polar Express, while one of my favorite movies, just plants the seed of doubt in children. Before watching it, my 6 and 8 year old had never even considered the possibility of people not believing in Santa. I tried to explain to them that it’s just like how some people don’t believe in God, and that it’s something that you just have to take on faith. As soon as I started patting myself on the back for being so clever, my 6-year old starting questioning the existence of God.” Wow! She really just proved your point. Thanks and hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!! :)