Ugh. That’s what happens.
I have trouble sleeping because a leftover cough from a cold just doesn’t want to go away. Orphanage gifts arrive misprinted and have to be redone. Very pretty ayi gifts arrive but aren’t what I had envisioned and now I wait for divinely provided replacements to arrive. We lose a hearing with our car insurance company over an accident I was in last year which is not good news at all. Together Called registration is this Sunday. I’m feeling irritated at the dumb person who chose the Sunday night before the China trip which also happens to be my birthday as registration night. Then, I remember that that was me. Darn me. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow that I’ve been dreading for weeks because I’m expecting to leave being told that I need to have some stuff scheduled for after China that I really don’t want to face. My to-do list is growing. My suitcase unfortunately is not growing, and I’m realizing all the stuff that I need to put in it is. PowerPoints have yet to be put together though they’ve been on to-do lists for weeks and have even been transferred to new lists. I’m starting to look at 14 hours on a plane as a blessing to get work finished up.
{Deep breath}
But, right at this moment, right now, I’m listening to some sweet music in the background about singing to our King and loving the One whose been good always. I’m trying really hard to hear His voice and to remember that He’s already the Victor. All this, all this ugh, it all may be more than I can handle, that’s true. But, it’s not more than He can handle. I’m choosing to believe that He’s going ahead of us and about to do some very big stuff or else all this ugh wouldn’t be happening right now to begin with.
So, whatever, Ugh. I really don’t like you. And, you’re making me pretty irritated. But, I’m going to keep praying that God gives me my daily bread and provides just what I need so that I can serve Him best. And, I believe He’s going to do that because He’s the One who called this trip with all that’s involved in it into being. I may be writing the curriculum and designing PowerPoint slides, but I’m just a tool being used by Him. So, yup. I don’t like you one bit. But, as He gives me what I need to press on, I have a feeling I’m going to care less and less about you. Sorry. Deal with it.