(don’t worry. no photos for this post.)
My kids may need therapy.
Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
But, it may be if this single event is part of the cause.
Ashlyn was going down to the basement to get something–don’t even know what now. That’s not important. What was important is that her mission was stopped because of a spider. And, it was no little spider. She came upstairs without whatever it was she was going down for and told me she would not go down in the basement again until that spider was gone.
Oh, come on. I’ll get it.
Nope. Too big for me. This is one Dad’s gotta handle (you know, he’s so much older and more mature than me).
But, my message must have gotten somehow confused because rather than kill the spider, he put it in a bug catcher jar which I’m embarrassed to say we have too many of to count and many hang out either empty or with some sort of remains of some creature in my kitchen, usually on top of my refrigerator…but sometimes not. It is what it is.
This spider was huge and even scarier close up. I mean, I know a firm piece of plexiglass was between us, but this thing was disgusting and somehow managed to spend a good couple days on my kitchen counter in full view.
I had had enough. When my eldest started taunting me with it at the dinner table, I announced that they better take the thing outside and let it go (so merciful of me). And, I meant immediately. But, my first (second? third?) mistake was going into the other room to make a phone call. As I was hanging up, Evan and Ashlyn ran in laughing, claiming that Lydia had the bug jar and now it was empty and the spider was somewhere in the kitchen.
Ha. Ha. Very funny.
Mark, you guys took it outside, right? Come on, you are kidding me….right? right? Lydia had the jar and then it was empty? No…
Seconds later, Lydia screamed like I’ve never heard before. I mean blood-curdling, trembling all over, eyes bulging scream. After which she shakes her arm and flings off the spider which proceeded to land on our dinner table still full of our dinner. I scoop Lydia up and try to calm the poor girl down (who is now sobbing crying) while the spider makes a break for it, scurrying quickly across the table. Drew, who had still been eating, is now also sobbing crying and cowering in the corner of our eat-in bench. Dad, always the hero, goes after the escapee with the first thing he can grab…which happened to be Drew’s fork. For some reason, swatting at a fast-moving large spider with a child’s fork isn’t all that effective though he did manage to force it off the table and onto the floor where he then stepped on it. and smashed it. as he should have by himself when I sent him down to the basement a few days earlier.
Drew calmed down after a few minutes. Lydia took a few more minutes and kept saying, “bug bug, up, arm, scary.”
Nice.
A couple days later, they seem okay. But, for some reason, here I am at midnight blogging about the whole ordeal. I find myself having to debrief about it. Occasionally, since it happened, I’ll just think about it and shutter or just smile and laugh aloud (…a little).
It was quite a scene.
Perhaps I’m the one who might need therapy.
I am reminded of the time I went to school and found the tail end of a 5 foot boa constrictor sticking out from under my desk (the neighboring class’s class pet.) Needless to say, I turned right back around and was going to have no part of this. A brave sixth grader and a male teacher went and retrieved it. I, for weeks, couldn’t put my feet under a desk or cupboard, and couldn’t step foot in my classroom until I checked that snake cage first to make sure he was still there. I agree with Lydia, “bad bad snake scary.”
Oh Kelly! Not sure I’d have survived the encounter with the spider! I would definitely need therapy. I am fine w/rodents and even some reptiles, but I’ll never forget having gone to the Virgin Islands with my family when I was a freshman in high school (I could even tell you the month we went and the year and it’s now forty years later, I was so ’emotionaly scarred! LOL) My sister turned down her bed in the house my parents had rented and there was a huge tarantula–! WHY WHY WHY? I’m not sure which was scarier, the noise coming out of her mouth or the tarantula! By the time the vacation was over we’d found a lot of them in the back yard courtesy of some banana trees that seemed to attract them (ych!) But looking back on it now is for some reason even scarier than when it happened, I must have lost my ability to deal w/critters like that! One suggestion for those of your family intimidated when heading to the basement, you could try what my little brother did when we first moved into a house that had a long flight of stairs going down into a huge basement–he turned on the light from the top of the stairs to scare away small critters, and then, just in case there were any monsters in the basement, proceeded to chant as he walked down the steps–“Here I come! Here I come!” Obviously he thought this would scare away anything else hiding in the basement! LOL Fortunately he has now outgrown his fear of boogie men and critters in the basement.
Your writing is wonderful! I can see the entire thing transpiring before my eyes. Not a fun event, but colorful none-the-less. Happy that the spider won’t be visiting you any time soon.
Frankly, I think you are justified in your fear. I was bit by a brown recluse spider which required a trip to the ER because the tiny blood spot on my leg had swollen to the size of a football making sitting and walking difficult. The ER doctor’s response, “Ewww…that’s gross and gotta hurt.” She didn’t even touch it but quickly wrote out a prescription for mega doses of a steriod.
Kill them! And quickly, IMHO!
Oh my word. I do not like spiders and I would have melted down too! Ewww, spiders! I had a spider crawl out of my bed a couple weeks ago and I about cried….grown woman…almost cried. ;) Ya’ll will look back on this in 10 years and laugh so had you’ll cry. :)