My dining room table holds packages of different colors, some fun little pieces of China laying there looking slightly out of place, some things still wrapped in paper covered in a language I do not understand. A few empty bags and trash still sit on a chair. My open suitcase lays on the floor, some laundry still in it, some already in the washer, and some in a basket waiting in the basement. A quiet stack of unopened mail that has been growing taller over the last two weeks sits in there too, losing the competition for my attention.
Home less than 24 hours and my dining room looks more like my heart than my home tonight. Some experiences are clearly communicated, out there for others to see. Some get it; some don’t. They don’t really fit in with daily life here, I know. But, I can’t get myself to put them away. Other experiences are wrapped up carefully still. Maybe they’ll be unwrapped and shared in the days to follow; maybe I’ll tuck them away for a while since I carried these fragile things all over China, carefully securing them to protect them. Either way, they’re wrapped up in paper covered in a language I don’t understand and am struggling to make sense of. My heart is opened wide with pieces strewn about, and I’m home.
Home with a 5 year old girl laying on a floor near me now who is sick tonight. Her head is burning hot and she’s thrown up more than I thought her tiny tummy could hold. She is sick, but she has a mommy and daddy by her makeshift bedside, moved to a new place simply to be closer to the us so we will wake at the sound of any rustling or whimpers tonight. Perhaps I’m unwrapping some of those fragile treasures in my heart already as I remember. While I touch Lydia’s cheeks and pray over her, I am picturing touching other cheeks and placing my hand on other dark haired heads who likely were cribmates with my daughter and praying.
I am home tonight. My daughter is home, needing me and I’m happy to oblige and give her all I can. Praying for more homes, more sons and daughters and for His help as I unpack my heart.
Wow! I know just from our adoption journey and visiting our lil ones orphanage we are forever changed/broken /yearning to make sense of what we now do with what we saw/now see & kinda know of…
I can only imagine what you are trying to make sense of/sort out after going to be the hands & feet to precious souls that need so much.
I will be praying for you and your team.
And hope your daughter is already feeling better