87 comments, 4,483 likes, and 1,094 shares as of 10:45 this morning of this image shared on Dave Thomas Foundation’s Facebook page.
Dave Thomas Foundation does great work advocating for children. But, I think they made a mistake promoting this particular image and identifying it as “a true gem.”
I appreciate the sentiment—parents love their children no matter how they joined the family. I didn’t miss that point. But, I have some fundamental problems with the communication of that sentiment here.
- All my children are my children. Period. I would never introduce my kids to someone new and single out any as birth children or adopted children. Some might say I have read too many blog posts from adults who were adopted who vulnerably share feeling like they did not fit in. But, even one blog post, one conversation with someone who was adopted is enough for me to decide that as a mother of a little one who joined us via adoption, I will never single her out like this. She will be acutely aware as she grows that she looks different than the rest of us. She certainly doesn’t need me pointing that out any more.
- Adopted is a past tense verb, not an adjective. My daughter Lydia is energetic, silly, determined, strong, physically fearless and yet emotionally fragile, independent yet utterly dependent, and incredibly beautiful. She is Chinese, and she was adopted. We adopted her. I know some are rolling their eyes and writing me off right now as overthinking everything. Go ahead, tell me I’m overthinking it all and overreacting as I do. I know it can be a character flaw. But, you know what? She’s my daughter; I can overthink it.
- I have not and will never forget she was adopted. Her story is one that involves deep pain and weeps of the brokenness of our world and yet the sovereignty of God and redemption of broken things. When I sat before an officer of the Chinese government charged with legally approving a child of the state becoming a precious daughter of ours, I promised she would be our child, that we would care for all her needs as if she had been born to us. But, in between the lines, I also promised that I would not neglect to recognize her story and walk alongside her as she grows and processes that story through different seasons of her life. I will never forget the stories of each one of my children and treat them as if their needs are all one in the same.
All that on top of the fact that her boobs are completely wrong.
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A few hours after posting this, the Dave Thomas Foundation actually commented on my Facebook post.
Apparently, they thought it was the boobs that bothered me.
Yes, yes, yes.
I don’t think you’re overthinking this – unless maybe I’m overthinking it, too!! But I agree with each of your points. I don’t think we can take adoption language and discussions lightly. And that mom needs something a bit more supportive. Yikes.
There is so much political correctness out there about adoption but I like this and think it’s cute. I do forget sometimes that my daughters were adopted. I have to think twice and we look VERY different. I don’t know. It doesn’t bug me at all.
well said, kelly! i cringed when i first read that comic! and, totally agree about the strange boobs too. haha!! :)
You know, I am normally sensitive to things and totally overthink them when it comes to being appropriate and sensitive to my daughter who is our only adopted child out of our 4…BUT, I didn’t see anything wrong with this comic. Now I don’t go around introducing us as having 3 biological children and 1 adopted but, when people ask, I have been known to say just what this comic says. I DO forget she is adopted…our love is absolutely no different for her. Yet, it’s only in glimpses that I forget, because I do my best to integrate China and adoption and the Chinese culture in our lives with her as much as possible. So I guess I understand this comic…there are many MOMENTS that I forget she is adopted at all. And to me that’s not a negative thing…it is a testimony to the love we have for her.
Brava Brava! Well said :) And yes, those boobs are just weird.
Just having a bit of fun — found the book when we were cleaning out our supply closet. Adoption is a heady topic and every once in while we may post something just to make people smile.
Agree on the, ahem, not supportive undergarment.
Love this post. And love your “overthinking!” The boobs? Really? LOL
Well …..I never noticed the boobs! I think it is a sweet sentiment and one I used many times with the adoption of our now adult daughter. She LOVED the saying and it always made me think of how bonded our daughter is with our family.
Correction: I always said “One of my children is adopted , but I can’t remember which one” . My daughter LOVED when I said it. She looked so much like her dad that people sometimes didn’t believe she was actually adopted. Sometimes we just remained silent (with a secret smile )when people remarked that she looked like her dad , and sometimes we would tell people. This reminded me of that~I wasn’t reading the caption correctly.
I completely agree with every. Single. Word. The cartoon is a terrible example of poor judgement on many levels!