At 12 1/2 months old, most mothers are training their babies to take a sippy cup.
When our daughter was 12 1/2 months old, we were training her how to take a bottle from us. Of course, we got nothing but support—she needed the nutrition, she needed the closeness, we needed the closeness, it fostered attachment both ways. No one questioned it.
A year later, at a chronological age of 2 with a family age of 1, maybe some people thought it odd that she still took a bottle several times a day. Being so teeny though, most people didn’t think twice about the bottle coddling going on.
Now, she’s 4…actually, 4 1/3 to be exact. And, yes, while her family age is behind that, it too is now 3 1/3.
Every morning, this little one stumbles into our bedroom, wiping the sleep from her eyes, often with her “ren ren” (aka her most precious blanket friend ever). She climbs into bed between us, gets real close to one of our faces, and says, “Can I have a hot big bottle?”
And, every morning, one of us comes downstairs, searching for one of only 3 functional bottles we have left and give her exactly what she wants. She lays calmly in our bed and slowly sucks down a bottle of warm rice milk as she has done since soon after she came home 3 years ago. Most days, she wants another one in the afternoon when she’s feeling tired. And, she’ll predictably ask for one when she’s upset or is anxious or is just not feeling good. And, I give it to her. Then, every night before bed, she wants one more.
Seems a little strange to give a 4-year-old a bottle still, I know. While she never is a public drinker, I’m sure if she were, we’d turn a few heads. But, here’s the thing—I. don’t. care.
For the first year of her life, arguably the most critical development time for a human being, she was not fed on demand. She was fed on a schedule, because that’s they way things work when you have lots of babies and few caregivers. What should have been comfort-giving early on likely became a race to get as much as she could before it was taken away.
One day, she’ll say to me in a tired voice, “I want my hot big bottle” as she lays on my shoulder, and someone will say, “A bottle? You don’t want a bottle. Only babies drink bottles!” At some point, she’ll hear it one too many times and decide she can’t drink a bottle anymore. But, until that day, when she tells me she’s too big for a bottle, I’ll keep stumbling downstairs to our kitchen, looking to see if any of the 3 bottles are clean to make one for her. And, I’ll hand it to her and watch her quietly drink it as she plays with my covers.
It brings her comfort, makes her feel safe, makes her feel protected, and reminds her that we’ll give her whatever she needs. Yes, my 4-year-old still takes a bottle.
Thank goodness you don’t care. Makes my day to see your little one getting what she needs.
We still take sippy cups several times a day, first thing in the morning, sometime during the day and at nighttime. My adopted girl from China is almost 5 and will get this sippy as long as she wants it. She also sucks her thumb throughout the day with her snuggly. We have been getting comments from others but I figure the needs of my daughter is far more important than an option of someone. So glad to read this.
THANK YOU! That’s all I can say!
GOOD FOR YOU!
Would you believe my nine year old (adopted at age 7) wants to be carried around on my hip like a toddler, and buckled into a toddler car seat every time we leave the house?
Go figure. If that’s what it takes to make his little insides insides better, then they’re fair game in m book.
My 8 year old was adopted from China just before her 2nd birthday, and she still sucks her thumb. Family members have commented and I told them flat out, “this child came to us with with clothes on her back and her thumb, I will NOT take that away from her too”. That ended that conversation quickly.
Oh Kelly, this was a beautiful post with amazing pictures that capture the closeness that this ritual has to her more than what package it comes in. Even long after the bottle goes (whenever that is) I hope the morning cuddles continue.
And I think it is wonderful!!!…I never pushed my girl out of diapers, bottle or anything!
Tammy
My second daughter, Maddie, adopted from China at 14 months, still has a “morning bubba” and a “night bubba” full of warm almond milk! She turned 5 in March, but I too will never deny her a bubba – we just don’t tell the pediatrician!
Thank you!!!! I am so glad we are not the only ones. My V does the exact same thing, comes to our room in the morning and asks for her bottle. She gets the second one at bed. I always say that we are closet bottle drinkers on our house.
the way I see it… your little girl will let you know as to when she’s ready to stop nursing from the bottle; until then, she should be entitled to have her bottle anytime she feels the need for one. For all of you people who are strongly against 4 year olds still nursing from the bottle, I have one thing to say… don’t worry as to how long a child should nurse from a bottle. Besides, it’s not your child anyway!!
I honestly don’t believe that there’s NOTHING WRONG with a 4 year old still nursing from the bottle! I have a very dear little friend who lives in LeHigh Acres, FL. He’s 4 years old and he’s still nursing from the bottle! although I’m no parent, I would suggest that no 4 year old would nurse from a bottle for an extended period of time as this may cause tooth decay. As far as a 4 year old still breastfeeding… I’m all for it! there’s NOTHING WRONG with a 4 year old still nursing on his/her mother’s breast! in fact, I honestly believe that it’s one of the most beautiful ways a mother can instantly bond with her child!
this makes me happy. :) kuddos for being an awesome mom. i wasn’t adopted, but my mom never believed in taking away things we liked or made us feel safe. i sucked on my two index fingers and slept with the same blankey until around 11 or 12. no one ever said anything against me because my mom would stand up for me. and honestly, thanks to little things like that i grew up, knowing to stand up for myself and not caring what others have to say. my brother was also one of those kids who had the full 10oz gerber bottles until he was 7 or 8. and we turned out fine.
My nephew still drinks from a bottle at almost 4 years old..he refuses to try foods and is stuck on bottle feeds..he only eats 3 different foods..nothing more and just milk milk milk…no veges..no fruits..im also worried about teeth decay..after his night bottle there is no teeth brushing..any suggestions??