A couple of hours ago, I could hear the sounds of men’s voicing singing. From right down the hall, literally maybe 20 feet from my bedroom door, Benedictine monks were singing back and forth in conversation, and the smell of incense filled the entire floor of the building.
I drove about 4 1/2 hours here today, essentially westward bound on one road the whole time which means very little effort needed for navigation and a lot of time to think deeply. There was plenty to think about. Tomorrow, I spend the day with a man I have admired for years for his work with children and orphanage caregivers, who I’ve modeled much of what I do after. And, tomorrow afternoon, I will join his seminar class Creating Positive Change for Children. I’m wishing right now that by join I meant that I get to sit and listen to him teach and take copious notes while I nod my head in agreement. But, that’s not the case. I’m joining his class as in guest teaching his class.
I was honored when I got the invitation a few months ago. But, as I sit on this twin bed with the scent of incense remaining, I’m feeling so much less a teacher and so much more a learner. I don’t want to walk into that space tomorrow with my cute ankle boots and current favorite Anthro top like I’m some world changer who is going to inspire the masses and then drop the mic. I want to go in as a kindred spirit whose motivations are always mixed but who God has chosen to use anyway despite myself. I want to celebrate good things I’ve seen in the lives of children who believed they were stuck where they were and remarkable movement in the right direction in seemingly hopeless places not because of any part of me but because of His redemption of broken things and that He invites us to be part of it. I’m not an expert who can speak anything more to whoever sits in that classroom tomorrow. I may still have my cute boots on…okay, I definitely will…but I’m a learner just like they are.
It’s after 11:00pm. The only noise now in this very large building of many rooms is a quiet hum of a radiator. The scent of incense still remains. I wonder when the singing will start in the morning.