We said goodbye.
We woke before the sun did to get to the airport on time. I knew that he knew it was time as I rubbed his bare back as he slept and softly whispered his name. He carefully tucked “baby” and the few other treasures he was taking back with him—two small lego creations, a photo album, a little box with a button he could push to hear our voices, his toy toolset, a few American coins, his favorite minion pajamas, a ziploc bag of seashells he had collected, and the few pieces of clothing he had come with a month ago that never were worn.
The time came to let go of his hand and send him off with the other children and director through security. He avoided it at first, walking to the window and turning away. But, he saw our tears and his began. We brushed them from his cheeks and held him close. I assured him I’d “call China” and make sure “they” let him come back as he had asked me to do. He nodded. He settled down. And, we said goodbye, waving over and over until we couldn’t see them any longer.
I don’t have much else I want to say.
This all is hard. Every bit of it is hard.
But, I couldn’t be any more convinced than I am right now that every bit of the hard is so worth it.
This boy who waited and likely wondered if he would wait forever is waiting now to come back. And, as he waits, he isn’t in fear as so many older kids are before an adoption. He knows the love of a family. And, he knows it is good.