Dave Thomas Foundation does great work advocating for children. But, I think they made a mistake promoting this particular image and identifying it as “a true gem.”
I appreciate the sentiment—parents love their children no matter how they joined the family. I didn’t miss that point. But, I have some fundamental problems with the communication of that sentiment here.
- All my children are my children. Period. I would never introduce my kids to someone new and single out any as birth children or adopted children. Some might say I have read too many blog posts from adults who were adopted who vulnerably share feeling like they did not fit in. But, even one blog post, one conversation with someone who was adopted is enough for me to decide that as a mother of a little one who joined us via adoption, I will never single her out like this. She will be acutely aware as she grows that she looks different than the rest of us. She certainly doesn’t need me pointing that out any more.
- Adopted is a past tense verb, not an adjective. My daughter Lydia is energetic, silly, determined, strong, physically fearless and yet emotionally fragile, independent yet utterly dependent, and incredibly beautiful. She is Chinese, and she was adopted. We adopted her. I know some are rolling their eyes and writing me off right now as overthinking everything. Go ahead, tell me I’m overthinking it all and overreacting as I do. I know it can be a character flaw. But, you know what? She’s my daughter; I can overthink it.
- I have not and will never forget she was adopted. Her story is one that involves deep pain and weeps of the brokenness of our world and yet the sovereignty of God and redemption of broken things. When I sat before an officer of the Chinese government charged with legally approving a child of the state becoming a precious daughter of ours, I promised she would be our child, that we would care for all her needs as if she had been born to us. But, in between the lines, I also promised that I would not neglect to recognize her story and walk alongside her as she grows and processes that story through different seasons of her life. I will never forget the stories of each one of my children and treat them as if their needs are all one in the same.
All that on top of the fact that her boobs are completely wrong.
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A few hours after posting this, the Dave Thomas Foundation actually commented on my Facebook post.
