The expectant mom I had posted about weeks ago should be having her baby soon. But, I really don’t know more than that.
A friend had rushed to get a homestudy completed and had been one of the families counselors showed this mom. She showed me her profile, eager for feedback and any suggestions and more eager still to become a mom again herself. She did such a good job telling their story in pictures and word alike, assuring this young mother that they would love and care for her child. How hard to have to put all that somehow onto a two-dimensional file, all their years of infertility, tears, heartache, and dreams now transferable as a pdf file via email.
I know the ache she has, the ache to hear another child call her mama, the ache to have a child on each hand. I know the battle within as she desires contentment but sits at dinner unable to look past an empty chair. I’ve been there too. And, I’m so glad that my arms are full. Where she is right now, where I once was, it’s not an easy season to endure.
She heard a few days ago that “they weren’t what she was looking for.” In one brief email and a phrase not unlike that an actor hears after an audition, her dreams of becoming a mommy again in only a couple weeks are over. The carseat that had been cleaned off will go back to storage and wait again quietly, collecting new dust until another day.
If I worked at it, I might be able to find out a bit more. But, I won’t. I pray she has found what she was looking for, hopefully that being the support she needs to parent this little person who has been growing within her. But, if she has made the hard choice to allow another to parent her child, I am praying now for her as she moves from being an expectant mom to a birth mom and the deep emotional impact that has as well as the couple as they prepare to move from one season to another, as their waiting ends and dreams begin.