My Overthinking

Philly Area mom, Life forever changed by adoption

Archives for 2012

When the cat’s away

For 27 months, I’ve been trying to grow Lydia’s hair out. I’ve trimmed the back several times now, but I’ve never cut the front.

I’ve never cut the front.

While we were in Dallas over the last 5 days for our ETC Train-the-Trainer course and the kids were at Grammy camp, Lydia decided the scissors needed to be tried out on her bangs.
The little bit of bangs that have taken over 2 years to grow. 
Yeah, I know it’s a rite of passage. Yeah, I know I did it too, Mom, at about the same age. Blah blah blah.
But, I’m a little upset today about it, and I’m feeling totally entitled to that. Her cuteness isn’t making it any better.
Can’t really even these out so much or cut her hair to help it look like it was meant to be that way. Too short for clippies that she fights anyhow and looks silly with a headband. 
Maybe it will be all grown out by the time she leaves Elementary School. (sigh)

Ni Hao Yall

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Gettin’ our ETC on

We’re learnin’ that Texans don’t just say ya’ll, they also make all -ing words -in words.

So, here we are after about 12 hours of gettin’ our Empowered to Connect on at the Train the Trainer course.

And, as Karen Purvis would say, woah Nellie.

Deep stuff today as Michael and Amy Monroe face the task of equipping (sorry) equippin’ us and a handful of other couples to teach Empowered to Connect to other parents.

My neurotransmitters are a bit fried from so much firing today, thank you very much. So, this connector is heading to bed to get ready for another full day tomorrow.

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Heading to Cowgirl Territory

Apparently, there are no yeehaws in Dallas. There’s big hair, painted nails, and lipstick…so I’m told…and lots of ya’lls, but no yeehaws.

Good to know.

Because we’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. And, I’m totally psyched for it.

About 70 hours of homework all around Empowered to Connect will culminate in a few days of intensive all-day training. Might sound a bit grueling, but the material is compelling and rich and so practical, and we can’t wait to get more training and be able to share it.

So, while the kiddos head to Grammy Camp for 5 days, we’ll be heading to the Lone Star State by. our. selves.

Can you tell that I’m viewing this training in a way as a second honeymoon?

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Their words, their hearts

That’s Gabby with one of her brothers. She’s been home one year. And, she is really something amazing.

Her mom blogged today about sweet Gabby’s heart, the heart of an orphan no more, a sweet daughter who knows the pain of being without a family and who aches for those who still live with that pain. 
She saw some pictures of some children still waiting on her computer, children from her own orphanage who she knew not long ago. These children will soon “age out,” meaning that they will turn 14 and no longer be eligible for adoption. 
You know how Gabby responded to that? 
She cried. 
She’s headed back to China next year and will visit the orphanage where she once lived and the children still there. And, she wants to love on them and plans to tell them about Jesus. But, she felt so very small and told her mama, “But I’m too little. No one will listen to me.” To which, my friend Branda replied that that’s not what God says (1 Tim 4:12).

That’s Christina. She lives in Texas now but was born in Wuhan, Hubei Province where she lived in a foster home with her best friend and the only sister she ever knew. That’s the little girl beside her in purple, who is about 3-3 1/2 now, who she calls “All All.” 
Everyday, Christina asks her mommy and daddy about her sister. “I sad; I want to see All All.” 
She loves her family and is loved by them beyond measure. But, she longs for the one person she could count on when all else was unpredictable. They know All All was matched with another family. But, where she lives now and who this family is remains a mystery. And, Christina’s heart is heavy in a way a  child’s heart should not feel. 

On vacation at the beach last week, I read a few books; I’m a reader. One of them was An-Ya and Her Diary, Diane Rene Christian’s (an adoptive mom of 2 girls from China) debut novel.

It’s fiction–not her daughter’s stories or any one girl’s story–yet, An-ya, a girl adopted from China at school age, completely came to life to me in a way that I wasn’t expecting. Her struggle to fit in, her anger and grief, her strained relationship with her adoptive mother and her questions about her first mother, her getting her first period and not knowing what to do, her parents clear efforts to walk her through her trauma and help her be the young girl she didn’t get to be, her memories of the children who lived with her in the orphanage in China, her desire to find the young girl with albinism she basically mothered though imperfectly when they lived together there…

Reading Diane’s words–An-ya’s diary entries–words like “I never imagined that being adopted was going to mean so much work” and words like “So you think we are lucky? You think we are lucky to not know anything about who our family was before now? How does that make us lucky?”–and beginning to grasp what may be the experience for children like Gabby and like Christina is enough to make your soul ache.

Read Gabby’s words, words that her mom is going to share regularly on her blog. Help her to know she has a voice. 

If you know folks who have adopted from China, share Christina’s picture with her precious sister and friend All All. Help her find All All and keep healing from her loss. 
Such doable ways to enter into their suffering and serve. 

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