Hello, expectant mamas.
Your pregnancy isn’t obvious to the grocery store clerk as you check out or the person passing you in the park as you walk your dog. But, your mailman may be clued in by now.
It’s not a 40-week wait. It’s a lot longer. May seem like 40 years in the wilderness.
2 years into our wait, I wrote about some ways God had shown us blessing in the wait. Sorta fun to look back on my words now a little over 3 years later when I’m in a whole other place. Waiting isn’t all bad.
I want you to know that.
For those who were hoping for a referral call late last night, I want you to know that. For those whose wait just got a whole lot harder because you know now the child you have been waiting for, I want you to know that. For those waiting for travel approval or your court date, I want you to know that.
I wish I could throw a shower for every one of you to celebrate the child who is worth all the waiting.
That would be one grand undertaking.
So, in lieu of that, we’re going to have a little giveaway for just one of you chosen at random next week, a giveaway for one of my favorite gifts from my sweet friend Melissa’s shower on Saturday.
I started in early 2004, first daughter came home in July 2007 from China. I started for a sibling 4 years ago, this time a local adoption, I meet my second daughter in Monday!
What have I learn throught the long, long waits? The timing’s in God’s hands, there’s no rushing it no matter how hard you try or how much you want it, it will happen when the time is right. This was certainly true for my first daughter and I hope it will be for my second.
Adopting is not quick or easy, but it’s so worthwhile, in the end.
With love from Wales,
Whatshername’s Mum
http://Www.kes44p.wordpress.com
It has really given us time to connect to other families going through the process and save some cash we are sure to need to get this child(ren) home.
We are in the process of adopting our second daughter from China and hope to travel in November! Having gone through the process twice now I have to agree with the previous commenter who said the timing is in God’s hands. When I get frustrated with a slower timeline than I want, I remind myself that if things had happened in my timing we wouldn’t have our daughter. God really does know best!
We in the process of adopting our son from Korea (our 4th child, 2nd adoption from Korea). My theme verse through the entire process is Romans 8:28 – “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those are called according to His purpose.”
This verse gets me through the wait because I know that everything is working out in HIS timing according to HIS plan… and when we look back, we’ll see how perfectly He did work everything together. This gives me so much peace and comfort. I can’t get stressed or upset at the wait or the snags because they are part of the process and our story of bringing us to our son. It’s not easy… it can be really hard and ugly on some days. But I can rest in the waiting knowing that God is going to work it all together… for our good and our son’s good!
~Sarah W
I am pregnant with a Chinese 8 year old!
My back is killing me! : )
What I’ve learned from the process is that it is not easy, but it is worth it! (now off to finish my Transcultural Parenting Worksheets ~sigh~)
One thing I’ve learned in the waiting is that God is in control. He’s providing abundantly more than I could ever dream through friends, family and strangers. He’s equipping me as I wait with conferences, books, connecting me with other families who are on this journey and reminding me that He’s in all the details. Most of all I’ve learned that with God, all things are truly possible and all of this waiting will make that gotcha day even that much sweeter.
I have learned to put my trust in God that my son will come home.
The biggest blessing in the wait for our son has been talking with other adoptive moms and seeing the coming home blogs. I can’t wait till our little guy is in our arms!
When my sister was in the long process of adopting her beautiful daughter, I often reminded her that God is in control and that someday she would look back and see that His timing is perfect. Oh, how I’ve had to eat those words! We are the (frustrating) process of bringing our son home from China, and often I grow weary of the waiting. In my head I know that God IS in control, and that His timing IS always perfect! It’s my heart that sometimes needs convincing……
I have learned in the waiting that God’s timing is perfect even when it doesn’t meet our timetable.
And—I am leaving in 9 DAYS!!!!!
Working on #11 (9th from China) and the wait is easier except towards the end. Then I go crazy like the first time I went.
Waiting is HARD but, God is teaching patience. I need patience and trust and he is holding my hand as I learn that.
On this, our second time around, I am still learning that my expectations for the journey need to be firmly focused on HIM and not on our time table, or even what we now know about the process and its ins and outs.
It’s not a battle I’m winning today, in particular, but I know it’s a lesson I need to grapple with and come to a deeper understanding of. I’m cutting myself slack for today but tomorrow, it’s back to the lesson plan for me :)
Waiting is hard, especially when there are no set time frame! It is so encouraging to talk with others who have been through the same thing– quite a bond!
We are in process for our second adoption from China. The wait is not as bad this time around. Maybe because I believe it really will happen this time (the road to our first dd from China took some surprising turns along the way), but mostly because I’m too busy with the other 7 kids at home to obsess as much as I did last time.
We are working on our first adoption from China. One thing we have learned through this waiting process is that we are capable of whatever God has given us. At the beginning of the process, it was so stressful and time consuming to get the paperwork done while still living life. Yet at every step, God has carried us through and made it totally evident that He will provide exactly what we need, when we need it. His provision is perfect and far beyond what I ever dreamed possible.
I love your post, it really hit home with me, I am eleven weeks out from the delivery date of the baby I am matched to adopt. It is a domestic adoption and the second one I am attempting this year. The first adoption as I got into the car to go to the hospital to pick up the baby my agency called to tell me not to come because the birth mom had decided not to sign. Within minutes the baby boy I was expecting to bring home the following day was no longer mine. It was a terrible loss to go through and one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. I packed up all the blue things I had bought and returned them all to the stores because I was not certain when I would be matched again and if it would be a boy. I was matched again about 6 weeks later and with this second matach I have been a lot more selective about telling people because of the previous experience. No ones knows as I shop for baby clothes or other items and I do not look pregnant that I am expecting a new baby girls in a few weeks and I am not having a shower until after the baby is born. I often feel like I do not get to go through all the “Normal” things a pregnant women would experience. However it is with Hope and my faith in God that I anxiously watch for the call to let me know my little girl has been born and to come pick her up. I have fear but reading Jesus calling daily is helping to set my fears aside. Also I have just been connected with a great group of people in my area who have adopted and it is so great to have them to share stories, fears, and victories.
Waiting is hard but I know when I hold my baby girl, it will all be worth the wait.
We are in the process of adopting our first child from China. I have a very good friend that has done this journey three times before. I admire all of you!! I was having a REAL bad day very early in the process and was physically sick from stress. I told God that I was not doing this! This was too much for me to handle, I was too old, and every other excuse you can think of. My husband came home from work that night and his bible verse of the day was this..
Heb 10:35-37 “Do not lose your courage, then, because it brings with it a great reward. You need to be patient, in order to do the will of God and receive what he promises. For, as the scripture says, Just a little while longer, and he who is coming will come; he will not delay.”
I hold on to this promise everytime I have a bad day,delays in paperwork, I800A being rejected because I wrote the check for $2 too much, two months to get a birth certificate from NY, etc. You moms know what I am talking about! I hope this verse helps you ladies too! Dont give up or give in, our promise IS coming and it will be a GREAT reward!!!
Love charmon
charmallen99.blogspot.com
We are nearly 12 months into our waiting for a referral of a little one (or two) from Ethiopia.
The waiting has been hard and each month encounters new feelings. Lately though, God has really been teaching me about grace. To be graceful as we wait for our little one(s) to come home and to grace to others who have approached us with some tough questions and criticism on why we’re adopting.
Would love to win. We are expecting 2 from Bulgaria in Jan or Feb and just brought number 6 home from state foster care 2 weeks ago. We are busy but blessed.
Be blessed
Ashlee
http://continuingourjourney.blogspot.com/
We are expecting a 6 year old boy from China! We will hopefully travel in two weeks and have learned so much during this year long wait about giving up control and having peace in Christ! We are not waiting on Him or for Him but IN HIM!! So Blessed… thanks for this post…what an encouragement to all of us “expectant” moms:)
Blessings!
What I’ve learned about waiting for my referral? I.Am.Not.In.Control. The first step is admittance, right? ;-)
This is our fifth adoption and it does not get easier to wait. In each adoption I can say that God is always faithful.
This is my first adoption. I am LID 09/29/06, so my wait is going to be over 6 years. I have recently become a part of a Sept. LID facebook group. They have made the wait so much better because we all are sharing a similar experience. Peer support is so important.
We’re waiting on our first adoption from China that started with our application in April 2006. The one thing that I have kept thinking through these years, is that my child just hasn’t been born yet and that the person tailor made for my family will be here when God creates him/her. Granted, it is still hard to wait, but He knows better than I.
I waited 3 1/2 years for my daughter in China (and still would be waiting if I hadn’t switched to the SN program.) Now I am almost 2 years waiting for number 2 from Honduras. It doesn’t get easier, but I am a bit smarter now with this second wait. I think now of some of the advantages of waiting…more money saved, I won’t ever have to pay for double day care, and more time to do fun trips with just one kid. So my advice for waiting mammas…do something with this wait that you won’t be able to do once your little one is here. Get a massage, take a vacation, go out for a nice dinner with friends. As for me, there might be a Hawaiian vacation in my near future.
We leave in a few weeks :) Throughout our adoption I have learned to have JOY in all things. Recently we have had some unexpected things come up that really were not part of our plan. They are BIG things as well a trip delay in getting our daughter. I felt at times I was having the Joy sucked right out of me. I refocused and have been reminded by friends that we are right where God wants us to be. I know that he has a plan for us and I just need to remain faithful and continue to walk in faith in God’s journey.
We have been waiting going on 6 years just to get the referral to meet our Lil’ Girl from China. We have had many years trying to have our own and spending lots of money to finally be told we can’t have our own children. So, what have I learned from this extremely long wait…PATIENCE!!!!! You really need to have patience to get through this. Our LID w/China is 10/24/06. We are hoping we finally get our referral early next year.
I am anxious awaiting the arrival of my nine year old boy from China. Each day when I look at his photos I fall more in love with him. Physically this has been my most uneventful pregnancy but the paper work is crazy
Hello, I am in the waiting process to bring Blossom, age 6 home from China. What I have learned in waiting is that the Lord will be with you every step of the way. When I am through throwing my little tantrum, He is there with a spiritual Kleenex. He always sends some sort of encouragement at the right time. It may be a new photo, someone E-mails me and checks in to see how things are going, a donation is made, even the right song pops up on the radio. He is so good, I can only imagine that His heart breaks also as He sees our sadness. He is strong and can handle any tantrum that we may throw his way. He is the patient Father who just waits on us to surrender our heart ache to Him. Trust me, at times I may have a few melt downs in one day and then go on to have many stress free weeks.
How can I encourage others? I was told once (OK many times) When I am are holding Blossom in my arms for the first time all of the waiting, frustration, and turmoil I have endured will just disappear. And I will say “that was not so bad” Sitting here making this post even brings tears to my eyes for the longing of that day. I know it will happen because the Lord set this entire thing in motion.
I have been waiting to bring Blossom home for almost 18 months now and I am looking forward to the day I hold her in my arms. Currently I am waiting for I800A to be approved.
Thank you
Pam Bean
We have a daughter with a very severe congenital heart defect waiting for us in China. This was supposed to have made the wait shorter. So far, it hasn’t. It is so hard to wait knowing that every day she’s more and more at risk of life threatening complications. It’s the other adoptive mamas in my life that have gotten me through. I think this is an awesome way to honor each and every one of them.
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We are waiting for #3 domestically, and it could happen soon…. I have spent 7 years waiting, on and off, to build our family. I’ve learned that I am small, but God is GREAT! And as we present our requests to Him, he fills our hearts and minds with a peace that passes understanding. Good thing.
We are currently in the process to adopt two teens from Ukraine. This will be our second adoption this year having just returned with two kids in May! That adoption was a hard one– the country shut down adoptions while we were in process and while we were supposed to travel during the summer of last year, we didn’t leave until April of this year! It was hard! But God really showed me that HIS timing is always perfect. We met the people we were meant to meet because we went at THIS time, not the originally planned time. And we probably wouldn’t have these two new children coming into our family if things had worked out differently either. So trust that He knows what is best. The waiting is hard, but it is ALL worth it in the end :)
We are enduring the wait to bring our son home from China. I have learned to trust the Lord in a deeper, more sacrificial way as we wander through those 40 years in the wilderness! He is SO faithful!
We are barely in the application phase…going so slowly!! Fu giveaway, thank you!
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My family is awaiting LOA in the adoption of a 7-yr-old China prince. I agree with all other posters/moms here…God IS in control, teaching us patience, and preparing our hearts. I will add, however, that he is ALSO preparing my little China boy! God is getting his little heart ready to meet us and become a part of our family. Isn’t God big and wonderful??
This is our second time waiting…and it’s hard this time around, too. But God has proven faithful on the hard days. He is good.
I’m learning God’s timing is so much better than my own, so I trust in what I can not see.
Going on 6 years waiting for our child…still hanging in there
We are waiting for a traveled date to pick up our son from South Korea. We have just been notified that it might not happen until next year, when we originally were told we would probably travel this summer. One of the comments I received that impacted me the most was that maybe God’s not finished with our son in Korea yet. I never thought of it that way, but it has helped me put into perspective that it’s not all about me and my timeline but about God’s. God is still working through our adoption process even though to us it seems like the timing is all wrong.
We are waiting for a match at this point. It has been over a year & we could get matched to SN China anytime now. Honestly, what gave me encouragement recently…when I went to the grocery store the other day & I saw some chicken marinated asian style. I was trying the swallow the lump in my throat as I ordered a few. It has been just over a year & we figure we have a year more to go. Ho hum. Today I held my friend’s three month old and I wondered and wondered. That was encouragement. My other two bio kids give me lots of encouragement too. We hope this will happen. We are ready for her.
In all the waiting God is being glorified and He is using for my good.
God is teaching me so much through this process! One main thing He is teaching me through this process is that this IS too much for me to handle! I have lately been overwhelmed with the paperwork that we are putting together. Through all of that, my husband encouraged me that the Lord drew us to adopt, He gave us that desire for His glory and our blessing (we get to love on them for the rest of their lives!). He will sustain me in my weakness. In my weakness, He is strong. This gave me encouragement and endurance to persevere through mounds of paperwork and mistakes that I will make! :-)
We are just completing our homestudy history – about a year behind schedule – so I don’t really feel “eligible” to enter! But, I love this ball, and would love to know where it came from!
We are currently waiting for our 4th son from Korea. What I have learned through our waits is that no amount of worry, tears, or crabbiness will speed things up. He’ll come home in God’s perfect timing and I need to find peace in that (a work in progress;).
We waited five years for our first son, adopted domestically, then his three siblings came fast and fruriousin the next five years! We waited again three years ago, for another daughter from Africa. Her wait, that was the time I felt I might literally lose my mind. Now, we wait for God to reveal the face of our next (and last- for the third time!) little one so we can begin the “real” wait to get him/her home. Thank you so much for your post. It was exactly what I needed to read right now, as I am so frustrated with the uncertainty and the “are ytou CRAZY??” comments from people who just don’t get it.
Aahh, the waiting….The Lord has definitely shown us more of Himself through this crazy process. We are currently waiting for a court date to go get our little man, but we started our adoption journey in May 2010. We have been so blessed that He has given us rest and peace that would not have been possible apart from Him. Also, His sovereignty over every detail has been greatly sharpened in my mind. Crazy as it is, I’m so thankful for the wait.
We have learned that God’s timing is perfect. Its hard to remember at times, but its so true :)
I agree that there is so much for us in the waiting if we will embrace it and take it all in. Thank you for the consistent encouragement you provide for those of us who are waiting….
In 5 days, it will be one year that we have been waiting. What I have learned…God is preparing our daughter in China and all of us. His timing is perfect. He sees her, knows just where she is, and loves her even more than me. There is comfort in this! Thank you for doing this giveaway:) It is an encouragement today!
We are in the process of bringing home a little princess from China. We are hoping to travel early November. We have 3 bio and this is our 2nd adoption from China. When approvals fly or things are moving along on our timeline … and smoothly … it is easy to say “God’s hands are all over our paperwork and his timing is perfect” it is a little harder to say the very same thing when we are stuck in a never ending LOA wait or our paperwork gets messed up. What God continues to ask me to lay at his feet is he is the same God and his same hands are all over our little girl and our paperwork when it all is going smoothly and when there are tough and painful waits. I praying I can continue to rest in that on this journey!
The one thing I learned in our first adoption while we were waiting was everything happens to for a reason. The reason is finding your child. I remember being mad at my husband more than once for him not hurrying to get things done. Taking his timeme getting so frustrated. Then one day it was like something clicked in his mind and things were moving at my speed. Thinking back if he wasn’t slow or if he had listened to me we would of never been matched with our beautiful daughter that is the biggest blessing of our lives. Now that we are in the process again I remember all to well the horrible feeling of waiting having things not in my control, but I know that which each step this is the process that will lead us to find our daughter. It’s hard but in the end it is worth every second of waiting. I just have to remind myself that now that we are in our fina
Phase of the paper chase.
What I’ve learned in waiting is every second and every day is one step closer. That red thread does tangle, but never breaks, and that day when your family is united will arrive.