God has a way of moving at just the right time, doesn’t He?
Just as we started our Empowered to Connect Train-the-Trainer course, Lydia stepped it up.
The yelling. The hitting. The going from 0-60 in seconds. Throw in a bite or two, and that’s been our world for the last month.
Plenty of opportunities to practice what we’re learning. And, that we have.
Giving her the words to use (“I can see you are mad. That makes you super mad, doesn’t it?”… “You don’t like when I do that, do you? You can tell me that.”).
Giving her the redos (“Wait a minute. What don’t you try that again.”).
And, giving her a stop sign when warranted (“Lydia, you need to stop that right now, and use words that we can understand!”
We have so much to learn.
A few days ago, my invitation to get in the bath wasn’t accepted, and she was angry. She looked right into my eyes, bent over with her arms flung back, and yelled out, “I…want…to…hit you!”
“Thank you for using your words! Good job!”
She still had to get in the bath. But, she got some praise and a hug first which unnerved her enough that the anger dissipated.
And, yesterday, she snagged something right out of Mark’s hands with a “Let I have dat!” Mark simply looked at her with a message she clearly got, and she handed it back and said, “Let I try that again,” and then asked for it.
Progress.
And, today, as Mama went out to breakfast with some other adoptive mamas (a breakfast that didn’t bring me home until 2pm), she soaked up time with Daddy, asking to be held “like a baby” and falling asleep in his arms for 25 minutes. Tonight, she wanted him to feed her her bottle, and she laid close to his chest while he held it for her.
Learning to use words. Redos.
Progress.
Thank you for sharing. We have had a “flare up” of “fits” in the last week that I thought were mostly behind us. Your words were encouraging… Hope…
meg
Amazing. And holy moly she is beautiful.
Well it sounds like things are going in the right direction- which is always needed to give you that push to continue. Great job.
Cute photos! Love them all!
It is very encouraging to read of her progress as we begin to tackle some issues in our home. Always great to hear that I not alone! :)
Sounds like what you’re doing is exactly what she needs. Love that she wanted to be held like a baby… such an indicator of love and trust with her daddy :)
We had the opportunity to go to a CTC conference here in CO. It was so encouraging. I love hearing hoe other children are healing!!!
She is beautiful! It is so sweet and encouraging to hear of little ones healing and trusting!
Oh friend, we’ve been going through some intense stuff like this (but a little more escalated) with B since about december. It comes in waves. we need help! I read the books, but just can’t seem to be able to apply myself properly when the time comes. We make progress than about 10 steps back. Yesterday was one of those days. I think today was the first day ever I was actually happy to go to work and send him to school.
I soooo need that training. I am failing miserably over here. :P
Lydia is b e a u t i f u l (and has an awesome set of parents.)
That is so precious! I just linked to it from my blog. I blog about “older child adoption,” but so many parents of older kids are in the thick of using the same strategies – do overs and such. Seeing it in a little one made my heart smile!
Oh my, Kelly, that second picture cut to my core and speaks volumes to my heart. Mad is sad. Baby steps and progress is all we can ask for sometimes. Thanks for sharing.