There’s a woman I know who is the Antiblog. She shakes her head at the mention of blogs. She refuses to visit any blogs. And, though she hasn’t said it in these words (yet), I know she thinks we blogging mamas are a bunch of crazies. She has told me that she thinks that blogs have created a disconnect in relationships, that people just blog rather than phone or gather to share their stories.
But, I blog. And, I really like to blog. And, I like other blogs. And, I even administrate a website that gathers blog posts from lots of different blogs and puts them in one place, that is run like a blog. (one more “blog” and now I’ve reached 7 times in one section…)
Did you know that it has been estimated that there are over 100 million active personal blog sites out there? That’s a lot. That’s a lot of people writing thoughts about a lot of different things.
When we started our adoption process back in 2007, I started checking out blogs. I found them to be great sources of information about agencies, the process, attachment, etc. And, honestly, I could not get enough of looking at families’ referral pictures and the pictures of their children once they were home a while. And, so, I took the plunge and started our own blog in April 2008. My posting was sporadic and light, wasn’t too serious about it but knew I wanted to do it.
Eventually, I started writing a little more, sharing a little more, connecting a little more. But, I was still somewhat guarded. Then, we found Lydia. And, then I really started opening up more on the blog. My blog, far from becoming a hindrance to relationships as my friend may claim, became a source of relationship for me.
“Hi, how are you? How is your family? How is your daughter doing? Does she like school? Oh good. That’s great.”
As a mother of young children, this is often how deep my conversations go with folks at church or when picking up children from school, etc. It’s usually all I can manage with a 4-year-old child pulling on my fingers (hate that, by the way) and a very active toddler squirming in my arms as my grip on her tightens and she fights me more to get down (and run). When all 4 are with me, I’m lucky if I’m able to say hello and smile.
My blog has allowed me to share more about myself and learn more about other women in my life that I’d never be able to do otherwise. I don’t feel isolated or disconnected from them–I read their blogs. They read mine. When we do see each other, we don’t have to start at square one. So, our conversation (despite the monkeys hanging on us) can go just a little bit deeper.
And, it has allowed me to connect with women who are kindred spirits who I have never even physically met. Now, I recognize that sounds strange. And, the woman at my church would probably shake her head if she read those words (which she won’t since she’s the Antiblog). But, here’s the thing–some of the women I’ve connected with from the adoption community from the Blogosphere have become some of my dearest friends. It’s true. Our shared experiences, our hearts for the same things, our desire to learn together how to be better parents to all our kids…I just love these ladies….that’s why I love blogging.
Yes, I love comments, and I love visitors, and I love having followers. That last phrase sounds a little prideful and icky….”followers.” It’s true though. There’s something that feels pretty good to know that people out there care to read stuff you write. But, you know what? Even if no one is reading this post (testing, testing, 1-2-3…anybody there? Hello?) or gives a darn about my blog, I’m still going to blog because (1) my kids will thank me one day. Okay, maybe they won’t. But, Mom, if you had blogged while I was growing up, I’d be thanking you (okay, she’s in China and not reading this either). I want to show the kids years from now fun stuff we did–maybe remind them that I was a fun mom when they hit the teenage years and think otherwise. More than that though, I want them to read my words and hear my thoughts and get even a little glimpse of some of the things that I thought about when they were young. I’d love to know that about my mom. And, (2) blogging has forced me to think through things that the busyness of life would have kept me from thinking through. I have said, “I should do a post about…” or “I really should put something together about that…” and because I have a blog, I’ve done it. The process of putting (hopefully) intelligible words together to capture a moment in our family or to express some idea has been really helpful to me personally.
So, Antiblogger, if you would read my words, I’d tell you to enjoy your deep conversations with people you are able to have because your children are grown and you are able to do that. I’ll keep blogging and going deeper when I can. But, since you won’t read my words, I’ll just smile next time I see you and tell you we’re all good and then chase Lydia as she runs away.
Ah Kelly! I used to be an anti-blog person. Most of my friends used it to post pictures of their kids who I saw quite often; I would read them occasionally so I wasn’t out of the loop, but I was NEVER going to blog myself. No one told me that you could use a blog to process, learn, meet people. I love blogging! I wish I had more than 3 followers, because somehow that is part of it, but even still I would blog. My kids will be glad I blog–they already are–because blogging makes mama happy. I process things by talking about them, and my blog is a place I can talk about things without boring everyone.
So glad you started WAGI, also, because that, well, that was the start of my blog for me (I started my blog to have a place to keep other people’s blogs I wanted to check–for the blog roll), and I enjoy discussing adoption with all those great ladies.
I’ve been planning to do a post on how much I love blogging, but now I think I’ll wait a few weeks. You have said it for me for now.
I could not agree more! Blogging has allowed me to go deeper with so many people!
And I would have LOVED to know my mom’s deep thoughts and feelings while we were growing up. I hope my boys treasure the blog as they grow up!
I am behind a post! I love the shirts that you made! I would get a heart shaped red iron on crystal. We have a store called hobby lobby here and they are really inexspensive but cute!
And yes the blogging keep me somewhat sane with both of our adoptions:) And some of my dearest friends are friends that I blog with!
Nicole
Blogging is therapeutic for me, it’s a stress reliever for sure, but it’s also about a place to keep stories…my memory isn’t as good as it once was, that’s for sure!
I started blogging, like so many others, during the wait for our adoption. This April, I’ll celebrate my 5th year as a blogger and will likely hit my 1000th post. That’s a lot of family stories! Recently, I had one of my blogs assembled into book form and had it printed. You wouldn’t believe how much my teenage boys and husband love those books! There they hold, in their hands, the story — almost daily — of a period in their lives. Yes, the book revolves mostly around the introduction of their new little sister, but they lived it and love looking at the books that were created out of this Mom’s desire to write it all down. Now I’m working on getting the other blogs into book form…it’s a gift for my daughters and for my sons.
I <3 Blogging!!
HORAY! Beautifully written fellow blogger!
There is one small drawback though, my friends at church tend to know every single thing about my life but don’t share theirs (those who don’t have blogs)
not sure how to work around that one!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE This post–I might have to write one myself. I have a few “antiblog” people in my life too. They are coming around slowly, but…a post like this from my heart would perhaps do some good too. I love it Kelly. Wonderful
AND–Oh if only that woman knew how SPECIAL and DEAR YOU are to Izabella and our family–BECAUSE we met each otherONLINE and how a post I did called “So Sad” that you read and responded to changed our lives in a miraculous way! I know you know–but just incase the “antiblogger” by some chance/miracle reads this post–I want her and the whole world to know how your beautiful heart reached out acrross the miles–in an effort to sooth my sad heart during our wait. How you emailed me a picture of a little girl she you on your agency’s WC Shared List website and told me you thought was the a baby doll–and later told me you thought she was perfect for us. This was key–as it was way past the WC list drop that month–and we had not gotten a call or a list of the hard to place kids form our agenc–they were in a staff transition that month.
Well the miracle is–that same little girl was referred to us the next day by OUR AGENCY–we accepted her and that little girl was our Izabella! And she is beyond our wildest dreams wonderful!
So…all anti bloggers out there–don’t dismiss the ability of God to work in our lives–both physically and non-physically–He is ABLE! I consider Kelly, along with several other very, very special online friends among my closest friends. They are always there for me–to celebrate the JOYS and the TRIALS. AND like Kelly said, “they have a kindered spirit with my heart that transends being able to look each other in the eye.
We pray togehter, laugh together, cry together and long to get together for a cup of coffee together…just like my friends across town do.
Finally–I AGREE with Kelly (and it was the reason I started my blog–initially keeping it private at first) it is an amazing journal for our children and a history of your family, your traditions, and an opportunity to document even OLD memories and stories from your own childhood memories to share with them for generations to come.
I might add one more HUGE reason. Families are not as close “distance” wise as we used to be. The majority of my family still lives in my home state of Vermont–and Dan’s family in Nebraska. So this blog has been a beautiful tool to keep our entire family updated on us and create a bond with Izabella. She is not a stranger to them–although they only see her a few times a year.
So…Thanks Kelly!
My thoughts exactly! I love blogging! I love looking back over the past couple of years that I have blogged and reading about the fun things we did, so I know it will be awesome to do that several years from now!
All I can say is, “Me TOO!”
And I’m honored to have you as a bloggin’ friend.
Weren’t we just discussing this? :)
Count me in among your blog-groupies! So glad to have you out there, cyber-friend!
Nancy
Kelly,
I started my blog so I could share with our children one day a glimpse into their lives as toddlers, preschoolers, etc! Sometimes when I look back at previous posts it brings back that very special moment as if I am reliving it again. A picture can only capture a moment, but not the emotions you felt while that event was happening. I looked back on the posts I wrote to see what we were doing when Parker, Piper, and Zoe were born! I would have never had that chance to remember what I was doing if it wasn’t for my blog. I love your blog and how real you keep it. It always makes me smile!
Tricia
I love reading your blog! (Especially considering that we had a conversation just as you described on Sunday morning…) I hardly comment back, but I think I will start. And since I don’t really keep my own blog up, I’ll just tell you in my comments what is going on in my world!
David’s school was cancelled today…so I am home from work. I was going to try to work from home, but I think i’ll just take a vacation day instead and catch up on laundry and maybe even sew. I loved Ashlyn’s shirt she made…I think she should come over and show me how to do it. (since there are no daughters in my family, i need to borrow yours for some girly time!)
Things are good with me and Mark. My experience with PPD has brought us to a new, really great place in our relationship. I am so glad that phase is over and I wish it had not happened, but God has really used that experience to better us. It reminds me of the Beth Moore study we did when she talked about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo in the fire. We can escape the fire, make it through the fire, or be consumed by the fire and delivered into His arms. God has brought me through the fire and is using the experience to his glory.
Talk to you later,
Anna
A-MEN! I am right there with you….couldn’t have said it better myself. And….for me, blogging can be cathartic……even when i just *think* the post but don’t actually post it. If I didn’t have my blog, I’d have lost half of the detail I SO want to remember about our h=journey to Cooper! I definitely waste time in a LOT of ways, but I don’t find blogging or reading the blogs of my blogging friends a waste at all.
I BIGtime {HEART} this post, Kelly! Can I just shout “DITTO!” ?!?!
Seriously, if it weren’t for blogging, I may never have found NewDay’s website a few years ago, and I may never have met so many AMAZING like-minded, God-fearing, orphan loving women out there. These relationships are PRICELESS to me. Ya’all feel like extended family, and I for one, FRANKLY, do NOT care who sneers at that statement. I know there are those who think it’s a waste of time and interferes with physical relationships. But sadly, many of those friends don’t have the time or interest to ponder my passion for adoption and the orphans (especially the sn list) who need families. I’m not cutting down my good friends by any means, but I’m also not going to play down the importance of my bloggy family. You guys ROCK! And I’m so glad I got to ‘know’ you out here in Bloggyville and follow your journey of faith to your precious Lydia. God is faithful, and because of the friends I have made here, I have learned that all the more to an entirely new level. I truly believe HE has His hands in this connection we all share. God is in the details…and that may even be in Bloggyville!! <>< love you!!
~Tanya
Kelly,
I finished my post on why I blog. Thought I’d let you know, though the next few weeks will be busy for you taking care of sick kids and getting ready for Disney World. I love Mickey Mouse!
http://joyfulmamagivesin.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-believe-in-blogging.html
Ah! thanks soooo much for this post. I really really really relate to you and your words. It means so much to me to read and connect with mamas like you. It makes me realize that this journey is real, that it actually happens to real people. That maybe….it will happen to me too? thanks for being brave and telling the truth. I really needed it.
Sis
http://adoption-thecrookedroad.blogspot.com