What do you do when you have a toddler in church who isn’t ready to go the nursery yet (we aren’t letting anyone besides us hold her still) and doesn’t want to sit still for a sermon? Well, you go outside for a photo shoot. This mama doesn’t travel far without her camera. I don’t want to miss a thing.
As much fun as these photo shoots are, I’m wondering when I will leave her in the nursery. Our adoption specialist told us to go as long as we can without anyone else holding her. She may not realize my fortitude.
And, I hereby promise that I won’t only blog about Lydia from here on out. I do realize that we have 3 other amazing miracle children in our home. But, for now, it’s going to be a lot about Lydia. I mean, seriously, look how cute she is? And, well, even the 3 other kids are all consumed by her!
See how creative you are to make such god use of your church time outside! :) Love it! And, yes, she is totally adorable, so it’s easy to see everyone’s infatuation with her. Enjoy!
She is so cute! Love the head band! Really? No one else can hold her? Is that an attachment thing? Interesting!
Kelly,
Those photos of Lydia are adorable! She sure is photogenic. There is a lot of thought and discussion out there regarding when adopted infants/toddlers are ready to be in the care of non-parents, and after doing this three times, I don’t believe there is a one-size-fits-all answer. I am rather convinced at this point that when your child shows a preference for you when given the choice between a stranger holding her or you holding her, she’s ready to start socializing. It doesn’t take long for a child (without serious attachment disorder issues) to learn whom she trusts, and if the time in the nursery isn’t too long (maybe just 1/2 hour or so) then it is probably okay to let her go in there for awhile. If you have seen evidence that Lydia prefers you over others, then you can probably start to allow her some time away from you (it’s hard to part with them, though, isn’t it?). After several Sundays with Merrilee hating to sit still in church for 1.5 hours, I started to just let her sit through the opening music/hymns, announcements, and scripture reading, and then took her to the nursery for the latter part of the service. When I saw that she was interested in the toys and was willing to settle down in someone’s lap for a story, I left her there; someone always came to get me if there was a problem. She was usually in there for one hour. She came to love her time in there, but always knew who I was and was eager to see me when it was time to go. I didn’t leave her in there if she was scared, but after a few Sundays she was ready. Your adoption specialist is there to give you advice based on what she’s learned in school or read in books. But only you know your child and can determine when she’s ready to be held or cared for by others for short periods of time. There is nothing in parenting an adopted child that you have to do “by the book”. She’s not going to forget you’re her mother after being in the nursery for a short while, so give it a try if YOU’RE ready for it. So often our kids really surprise us when we see what they’re ready to do.
Hugs, Petrie
Such cute photos. What kind of camera do you use? We are thinking of getting a new one.
Joshua would scream and scream in his class at church(and we’d get paged) so Tony and I would alternate who watched him. We actually started volunteering each Sunday and would stay in the classroom with him until he was ready to go solo.
Stacey
That’s a hard call, isn’t it. It’s something we’ve already been giving a lot of thought to and preparation for. We’ve already let extended family know the ‘reason’ for them not holding her and stuff up front. In time, that will all change, but in the beginning, the attachment and bonding/trust to the parents is most important, and though it may be hard, it will be well worth the pay-off in the long run. I’ve also seen the opposite affect when parents didn’t follow these ‘rules’ and did pay the consequences. So the establishing of boundaries really is so important in the early stages. But I agree with Petrie… I don’t think that there is any magic time number that you go by… you just have to know your individual child. Though our agency recommends a good 2-3 mos minimum.
Lydia is cute as EVER…so keep the photos coming, we never tire of them!!!
She is so darn cute!! I wish we could get our girls together too! Oh, and, love the dress and headband!
Love the pictures of your youngest miracle! it looks like it was a beautiful day (and sermons can always be heard ONLINE, right?)
it took us a YEAR to leave Mya :) And she was four! hahaha..I think Petrie is right; it is when YOU are ready, and you will know!
What beautiful pictures of Lydia! Precious!!
She is just so stinking cute! And can she raise her eyebrow? That’s just awesome. My girls try to do that all the time.
I’m with Petrie–your motherly instincts will kick in when you know it’s right. Izabella was home 4.5 months before I took her to the PRE-Pre-School” where I left her for 1.0 hour in class while I was in the other room for “mommy class”. She did beautifully, and because I had not left her before EVER, her excitement when she saw me after class was evidence she knew I was MOM. And that was very comforting. She still never just jumps up and runs to the snack room (which is always when we break to separate rooms) she always wants me to go with her. I do, then I let her settle into her seat and be sure she’s ok and leave. They will come get us if needed–but they have not come yet–we only have 3 weeks left. I am going to miss this time with other mom’s and for her to be with other children in a fun and learning environment. With that said, “it really is a mother knows best thing.”
She is gorgeous Kelly–such a blessing!
Pretty great church service there! Love that sweet girl!
Love the outfit. Of course, Miss Lydia could rock it in a paper bag! Just beautiful. Perfect opportunity for a photo shoot.
She is adorable!
Hi
I’ve been following your blog for awhile.
Lydia is sooo adorable.
Take care, Anne
Heh. We’ve been home with Li’l Empress for about 19 months now and she’s JUST STARTING to venture into her kiddie class. But only with me, sitting in the grown-up chairs at the perimeter of the room. And certainly NOT when Mommy tries to tiptoe out to potty. . . NO, not at all. But it’s the “last bastion” of our intentional “shrinking of her world” that hasn’t flowed naturally by itself. So we are trusting it’s because she’s not ready yet. I’m cool with that. :)
Yeah, hang in there as long as you can, it’s so worth the security and confidence and identity that it builds. I promise :)
She is precious and I love your little impromptu church photo shoot. You are a girl after my own heart. :)
Hugs,
Jonni