I can clearly remember the feeling of being very, very pregnant and going to bed each night wondering if it was the last night I’d be pregnant. I was unsure of how to make plans on our calendar and pretty much kept it clear (“Well, I don’t want to commit to going out next week. I may be in the hospital having a baby that day.”). People called me and emailed me to find out if I was in labor yet…as if I’d keep that a secret.
That’s very much like how I feel right now. The office in China that handles adoptions puts out a list of newly available children for adoption about every 34 days…or so. We are now at day 46. Every night, I go to bed wondering if we will hear in the morning that the list will be out that day. I don’t know what plans to make because I wonder if we will be reviewing the file of a little girl who might become our daughter that day. I’m getting calls and emails from people asking if the list has come out, have we reviewed any files yet. For two weeks, I’ve felt anxious and on the edge of my seat, ready.
And, it’s quiet. Very quiet. (sigh)
It will happen…waiting is so hard I know. I still look to see if the list came our last night and we are not waiting anymore…just got used to waiting I guess! She will be here soon!
What a great description of this wait you are in. It seems like it won’t be much longer before Lydia’s little face will be in your home. Don’t know why…it just seems like it.
I hope it’s tomorrow!!!
I think of you often and have wondered what has been happening there. I know the wait is hard, and I’m praying that God will put that perfect file for your family in your hands SOON! Oh how I can’t wait to read the big announcement on here. This is always a hard time of year for the quiet, still, waiting time. But it’s also a great time to draw near to Him, and meet with the Father in that quiet place. His timing will be perfect and I trust your precious daughter will be here soon!
Hugs,
Tanya
Praying for you~
Perfect time to cozy in for a long winter’s nap. But then again, anytime would be perfect.
Oh I so remember this feeling…but I never equated it to pregnancy–as I never was pregnant. But I was paper pregnant for a long time and then in the final tri-mester like you are! It’s so very hard (I love Kim’s post–I do the same thing–still check the blog for the list drop–and my heart skips a beat when I see that December 28th NSN post–it’s only a split second–but it’s so real still–for all those waiting!) All I can say is-no one can take this waiting pain away–it’s a necessary part of the JOY that is on it’s way to you. And with it all–it makes the day you see her face so very over the top. And BTW–as much as I want to say, don’t hold off life for this–I did–and don’t regret a minute of it. BUT the call came when I would have been home anyway! :) Go figure.
I can’t wait Kelly–truly! Love your passion for this journey–and how you share it in words is “priceless”!
Just remember he has choosen her already for you …she just is not ready yet.
Just remember his timing is perfect!When you totally submit to believing this then it seems like it just happens. It happened both times like this for me!
Can not wait to read about an exciting announcement for your family!
Nicole
That’s how I feel EXACTLY! You are not alone! My sister in law had her baby two days ago, and I said to Scot, “Wouldn’t it be cool to get our call on the same day?” Alas, no. I woke up this morning realizing it is now the weekend in China. *sigh*
I was 9 days late with Sawyer, and OH……I am feeling EXACTLY the same way now as I was then.
I am OH so excited for you!!!! I will rush right over to your blog once I hear the list came out, and I’ll keep hitting “refresh” until you post some news. :)
I’m right there with you….if it makes you feel any better. And, I am ready to rejoice with you!
(And I was encouraged, as I’m sure you were by Tanya’s comment!)
Isn’t it the craziest feeling you have ever experienced? I always wondered what it would have felt like to know the exact day (like the SN program) they KNOW the stork is flying and they KNOW they are going to get the call.
We had spent our day swimming. Laying around the pool in the mountain air. Had NO.IDEA. the call was coming. I got home at 3:30 in the afternoon to get ready for my evening (had PLANS, you know!) Well, for some reason my husband was home. And he gotten THE CALL. It is the craziest thing in the world.
And there are no plans worth keeping when you are looking at your daughter’s face. So, go ahead and make them. They will be easy to break :)
I keep checking in on you too – knowing that you are about to “deliver” any day!!
trusting in God!
~Sara
Kelly, I trust that you are leaning on Him! His timing is perfect. Remember, you sent me the song “Whlie I’m Waiting”. Keep serving. Keep loving the three babies you have because soon it will be four!!! Love you and am so excited for your family!
Oh my goodness! I just read the list should be out on the 19th….I am really praying for you that Lydia is on this list, and we can all celebrate with your family!
Hi Kelly,
Another Kelly here and I just found you through some comments on other blogs as we have some “friends” in common. Just got an email from an agency I’m considering saying the list would be out on 1/19. Praying you’ll see your daughter’s face soon.
~Kelly
oh yes, i know the feeling! enjoy your weekend and let’s pray for a great list next week!
Um…it’s not quiet anymore!!! Here’s to Tuesday!
Good luck with the new list coming out this coming week. I will be checking your blog for good news.
I have awarded you with a blogger award because your blog is an inspiration to me and I always enjoy reading it. Just check out my blog.
waiting is one of the hardest things to do.
hang in there!!
I can TOTALLY relate. I was so anxious waiting for the list. No match for us this time. It is truly heart breaking. I do very much feel like I did when we were trying to get pregnant. “Nope. Not this month. On to the next.” UGH. Hopefully you got matched this time, and haven’t had a chance to blog about it. If not, we can wait together for the next list. Lord, don’t let it be 49 (?) days again.